Lord of the Rings: The Journey to Living
by Golfbabe87
Summary: The people living in the lands of Middle-Earth are plagued with fear and death. You are either against or fighting for the evil Lord Sauron. Or is it really that simple? This is the story of one already broken family taken from their home and struggling to survive in such times. Will contain elements from both the books and movies.
1. The Black Gate of Mordor

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR.

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**The Black Gate of Mordor**

"Every act of creation is first an act of destruction."

- Pablo Picasso

"I have many times asked myself whether there can be more potent advocates of peace upon earth through the years to come than this massed multitude of silent witnesses to the desolation of war."

- King George V

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**The Third Age – March 25****th**** 3019**

**Mordor**

The Black Gate of Mordor, Morannon, was collapsing. I stood upon the infamous gate observing the destruction, and feeling the stones and rock shift and crumble beneath the heavily armored soles of my feet. This day would begin the end of an era, and the birth of a new one under King Aragorn, son of Arathorn, rightful claimant to the thrones of both Arnor and Gondor. Or more appropriately King Elessar. Even though I knew this day had been coming, it was difficult sitting idly by completely powerless. I had been living here for months laying claim to this hell and making it my own. As much as it confounded me, I found that some part of me loved this desolate wasteland and its people. I shook my head. How odd that I should learn to call the Dark Shadow Lands of Mordor home.

'_Standing where I am now, standing up at all_

_I was used to feeling like I was never gonna see myself at the finish line_

_Hanging on to parts of me, hanging on at all_

_I was used to seeing no future in my sight line'_

Sauron, the very reason for my presence and existence in Middle-Earth, was finally defeated once and for all. I could still feel his influence somewhere deep inside of me, and throughout the land. Originally of the Maiar, Sauron was powerless now that his physical body and source of power, The One Ring, was destroyed. Now he could do no more than spread malice in the hearts of the wilderness. In that respect, he would never fully die.

His physical death I had been witness to moments ago. I clenched my fists remembering the feeling of his corrupted life energy and power escaping from his temporary human shell. How terrible I must be to think, to _feel_ something for that vile creature. Sauron, the entity that had ruthlessly killed so many over the span of countless years. What type of person was I to care for a creature such as this? The type of person that had started to change him. If only we had more time…

'_Sometimes it feels like they wanna remind me_

_Send all those villains after me'_

My feelings for him were something I needn't worry about any more. He was dead. Truly he was dead, as far as I knew that is. The accountings I had on this timeline had been accurate in accordance with all that I had seen and read. What lay before me was something else entirely. It was a future that I had limited literary and no film reliance. I felt almost a sense of panic at the thought that I was about to enter a time in which I had partial knowledge. There was no hope of going home now. Home, a place that I had originally yearned for so deeply now seemed like a distant memory, as did my brother and parents, long dead to me. There had been so many deaths, so many souls lost. All for the sake of greed, power and ambition.

Did all of these bad guys really have to be so transparent in their dealings? I mean seriously, take for example Lord Sauron, Lord Voldemort, Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Satan, heck even Loki (who I think is misunderstood). Fictional or not, they really took the ambition and power side of Salazar Slytherin to the extreme. Sometimes a good dose of Hufflepuff is in order to balance things out. People from that house at least didn't go crazy, kill, betray, or participate in genocide. That we know of at least.

I rubbed my temples feeling exhausted. The future King Elessar was presently amongst the race of men infiltrating and chasing down my people far below me. I felt bitter and resentful towards the soon to be king and the company in his keep that would help him rebuild and reunite the lands. What help was I going to receive? None of them would ever learn to trust myself, nor would other lands that had followed Sauron do so again out of fear. They knew of me, but not well enough to distinguish my influence over Saurons. It was going to be a long uphill struggle indeed. Although, there were a few I knew to be trustworthy and loyal.

'_I'm not their hero_

_But that doesn't mean that I wasn't brave_

_I never walked the party line_

_Doesn't mean that I was never afraid_

_I'm not your hero_

_But that doesn't mean that we're not one and the same'_

All around me lay destruction, crumbling stone, and ash floating through the air from Mount Doom. The same mountain the Hobbits from the Shire had destroyed the One Ring of Power with. I took a deep breath feeling ash enter my throat.

'_Feeling like I am now lighting up the hall_

_I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart_

_Learning all I know now, losing all I did_

_I never used to feel like I'd be standing so far ahead'_

A few ashes gathered in the palm of my outstretched hand. I looked at the gray coloring blankly and watched it pool at my feet. Looking around I could see the many souls residing in Mordor running for their lives attempting to escape the inevitable collapse of their once proud and prosperous kingdom. It was odd to associate anything but death and decay with this land, but it had been, well not beautiful, but unique in its own way. In the Dark Shadows of this realm lived thousands of families, both human and orc alike.

'_Sometimes it feels what I recovered you lost_

_Sending your peaceful loss to me'_

I could hear the screams of thousands suffering around me but knew there was little I could do in the face of such terror and the current state of our armies. There was no time to regroup, nor did I want to. It was the time for men to reign supreme and freedom from the all-seeing Great Eye. Hopefully, we could start again as well.

'_I'm not their hero _

_But that doesn't mean that I wasn't brave_

_I never walked the party line_

_Doesn't mean that I was never afraid_

_I'm not your hero_

_But that doesn't mean we're not one and the same'_

A gust of heavy wind whipped my heavily bound and intricately braided hair around my face. I turned to see Tardis, a young dragon offspring birthed from one of the Nazgul's dragons, land gracefully near me. I smiled at the dragon, as he was a friend and one of my protectors. Sauron had gifted Tardis to me not long after my arrival in Mordor.

His heavy and hot breath rushed over my face as I approached him and stroked his long and powerful neck. I closed my eyes and hugged his neck tightly in order to steady myself as the gate shook. Very soon I would need to leave, or suffer the painful death of falling and being crushed by rubble.

I opened my eyes at a noise above and saw the formidable Uruk-Hai, Narghaash, leap from the base of the dragon's neck. He landed with a heavy thud and gave a rough pat to Tardis before approaching me.

As he came near I saw the determination and strength I had come to associate with him. He raised his clawed and roughened hand to my face and tucked a strand of my unruly hair behind a softly pointed ear.

"Is it done?" I asked him.

He nodded. "You're the last, as always." I could hear the slight reprimand in his voice and my eyes softened. I raised my hand to cover his much larger one that had laid claim to the side of my face.

"Always a tone of surprise" I said flatly and devoid of my usual cheer.

Narghassh snorted and placed his other hand on my opposite cheek and brought our foreheads together. "Just you," he corrected. "Always gotta clean up after ya. Never know what you're goin' to do next."

I moved my hands to each of his wrists and looked into his eyes. I saw the worry etched in the amber pools and gave him a brave but sincere smile. "But you'll stay with me," I confirmed a promise he made long ago.

"Can't leave you now."

The ground beneath us shook again and Tardis shrilled and thrashed around. Narghaash's hands found my waste and kept me steady. The wall was most definitely not going to hold us for much longer.

"We better leave."

He agreed and was about to help me astride Tardis when I felt the burn of eyes on my back. Startled, I turned in his arms and took a step closer to the edge of the gate to peer over the side. Far below, I could make out two formidable forms that would be hard to mistake. Below I could see the blazing white robes and staff of Gandalf the White and the mighty presence of Aragorn, son of Arathorn.

'_Sometimes it feels like the side that I'm on_

_Plays the toughest hand, holds the longest stand_

_Sometimes it feels like I'm all that they've got_

_It's so hard to know I'm not what they want'_

In that moment their gazes caused a sudden fear in my chest. These were two of the many characters I had fallen in love with in my youth, and had long thought of as great and mighty hero's. Upon the earliest days of my arrival to Middle-Earth, when I had been young and naïve, I had imagined we could forge a friendship. And wouldn't it have been grand to be named a friend to those of the famous Fellowship of The Ring? Me, an intelligent healer from a distant world, and not just an intruder and voyeur in their homeland, which is all I could see myself as now. I would have told stories and complained of Elves jokingly with Gimli, and cooked and eaten with the fun loving hobbits…

But now their gazes penetrated my person with such disdain I could hardly stand to keep eye contact. And there was no mistake that they could see my own unique burning gaze from down below. Unfortunately, I possessed the eyes of my Father.

'_Sometimes it feels like the side that I'm on_

_Plays the toughest hand, holds the longest stand_

_Sometimes it feels like I'm all that they've got_

_It's so hard to know I'm not what they want'_

No doubt I would never be friends with the likes of the Fellowship, if we ever had the chance to meet on pleasant terms which was highly unlikely. Suddenly, I felt the heaviness and pounding at my chest where my white gold ring lay against my naked skin buried beneath layers of clothing and armor. The warmth of the ring reminded me of my heritage, so very similar and different to that of the late Sauron. At the very least Gandalf the White and the future King needed to understand that though they knew not who I was, I was a formidable player. I held power. Perhaps not the same power as Sauron, but I was not to be trifled with.

I clutched my hand to my chest where the ring lay underneath and squared my shoulders. I hardened my gaze and narrowed my eyes and stared back at them both for all I was worth. There was more at stake here than their kingdom, I now had one to protect as well. In my hands I held the lives of thousands, hundreds of thousands even.

In the destruction of their homes these people, comprised of orcs, and human followers of Sauron were my responsibility. The thought both enticed and filled me with me fear at the same time. Somehow, once this destruction had cleared, I was going to rebuild this land. And I knew in my heart I could. But first I had to stand up to my childhood hero's.

Standing tall with the ash from Mount Doom burning my eyes I tightened the grip on my staff and raised its polished blackened wood to the sky. I looked at both men below me and nodded to them congratulating and acknowledging their victory. In my mind I spoke to them with a challenge that they may never hear in words.

You may have won now, but rest assured you will not lay claim to our home for long. You will not destroy us and force us to live in fear and despair. As long as I live you shall have to deal with the likes of me.

'_I'm not their hero _

_But that doesn't mean that I wasn't brave_

_I never walked the party line_

_Doesn't mean that I was never afraid_

_I'm not your hero_

_But that doesn't mean we're not one and the same'_

Re-sheathing my staff I brushed the hair from my face and put my helmet on. Funny, how it had once seemed so heavy and ornate, but now it felt much like a source of strength and power. Randomly, I wondered how many traits I still possessed from Hufflepuff and whether Slytherin house would be proud. Smiling wistfully, I wondered if it even mattered now. Fantasy was fantasy, and while I had long dreamed of the existence of magic I now found myself in a world plagued with fear, pestilence, and war.

I strode past Narghaash and ignored his silent offer of aid to mount Tardis. Perhaps he could sense the change or smell it even, but he did not persist even as I stumbled slightly getting my foot into the saddle. Perched upon Tardis, I took the reins in my hands and waited for Narghaash to settle behind me.

Below I could still make out the forms of the men invading my home no doubt raping, plundering and pillaging my people. How proud they must be to call themselves men and not orcs. How mighty they must think themselves destroying the lives of innocents. I wondered if they could even discern child from warrior any longer.

The ledge whence we stood crumbled under us as we rose into the sky with the powerful beating of Tardis' wings. I steered him south towards the Mountains of Shadow, where we would re-gather ourselves and consider our next plan of action. As we flew away from the wall and the screams of the dying, Narghaash's arms slowly encircled my armored waist. His cheek brushed against mine even as the tears came.

I squeezed his arm and briefly scrunched my eyes to rid them of the moisture. I took in a revitalizing breath and grew strength from his presence behind me. I felt the answering rumble from his chest permeate through my armor and calm my soul. With this tenderness came feelings of resolution and strength that I desperately needed. I drew from it and realized how much there was to live for and the many souls who pledged their loyalty and love to my reign mere hours ago.

And as I looked down below me at the lava flowing from Mount Doom, I saw something I hadn't before.

Rebirth.

'_I do my best to walk the finest line_

_Till I've had all that I can take'_

Looking out to the dark mountains we were heading for, I knew that the future was not going to be easy, but I had loved ones to live for and the great land of Mordor to restore. And most importantly, I would not have to do it alone.

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"It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all."

– Emmet Fox

"I'm Not Your Hero" – song by Tegan and Sara

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UPDATED

AN: This is my first attempt at a LOTR fanfiction. It will take aspects from the movies and books. While this is not a self-insert story, I am going to be writing about what I know. And what I do know about (if anything ha!) is having a brother, physical therapy, and a few other odds and ends. As you my dear reader are no doubt a champion at spotting Mary Sue's by now, feel free to let me know if things are getting too unrealistic. Hopefully, you enjoy this and find some originality in it. Rating is mostly due to language, violence, and suggested themes.

AN2: Please note that no matter how I might jump around at updating my stories I will never abandon them. Especially my Transformers and Labyrinth ff as I made it a point to add their completion to my 30 by 30 list. However, the more support and reviews I get for my stories the more likely I will update that particular story.

Please READ and REVIEW!

Next Chapter: In which we see how it all began starting with an accident and kidnapping.


	2. The Clandestine Kidnapping

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR. If there would have been more female influence in the novels, duh.

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**The Clandestine Kidnapping**

"Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.

You must travel it by yourself.

It is not far. It is within reach.

Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know.

Perhaps it is everywhere - on water and land."

― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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**August 2014**

This was my spot.

High up in the mountains surrounded by the woods was the place where I felt most at peace. I laid claim to this granite stone from the first moment we ventured here as a family. It felt entirely too long ago when we were all here together. I dipped my bare feet into the cool stream watching the water trickle over the miniature waterfall to join the larger pool down below. I lay back fully against the warm surface of the rock closing my eyes and soaking in the rays of the sun. Summer camping trips were always the best, especially in Onion Valley.

Onion Valley was located near the town of Independence, California. Admittedly, Onion Valley wasn't the most extreme camping ground for thrill seekers, but it was reclusive. There weren't many people who knew about this particular camp ground or travelled this far out. There were much more popular camping sites, but this had been one of my father's favorite camps sites and the one we went to every summer and spring.

Dad had so many memories coming up here with his friends after high school. I always loved listening to the stories of the times that Mom, Dad and their best friends came here together.

I smiled thinking about my parents realtionship. My Mom had pursued my Dad like nobody's business. Mom was two years his junior and became infatuated with Dad at nineteen. My Dad had been working at a hospital part time and also working as a musician when they met. Dad wasn't looking for anything serious or permanent; he was a musician after all. But still they dated off and on for a year or two and when my Dad took my Mom to this valley everything had changed.

I shook my head and laughed thinking about my Dad telling me this story when I was younger.

_My Dad sat in a fold out chair sipping a beer gazing into the crackling fire while Mom was mixing hot chocolate into plastic cups for us. My little brother sat curled in my lap trying hard not to fall asleep. _

"_And_ then_ what happened?" I asked eagerly._

"_Well I took your Mom out here." He smiled from the other side of the campfire. _

"_And you went backpacking to the same place like you did with that other girl?"_

_Mom was laughing freely and she handed me a cup filled to the brim with marshmallows. "No, not the same one, actually not as hard as the trail your Mom and I took."_

_I urged him to continue, "And she complained the whole time."_

"_Yep, it was probably one of the worst trips I've ever been on. She said she'd been backpacking before, but obviously hadn't. We left early and broke up a few weeks after that. But your Mom," he continued glancing at her as she came to sit by him in her own chair, "Toughest gal I've ever met." _

_Mom made a comical face and started to giggle girlishly while opening the cap of a margarita. Mom had always let me a have a few sips of the flavored drinks she had when we went camping. _

"_We went on this long hike hoping to camp by this lake I heard about. Anyway, we take a wrong turn and end up at a completely different lake. Not only that, but the trail was twice as far; we got into the camping ground after dark. When we settled in for the night her feet were covered in blisters and bleeding through her socks. I had no idea, she hadn't complained the entire day."_

_I widened my eyes and looked at my Mom. "How come you didn't say anything Mom?"_

_I watched her reach over and rub the back of my Dad's neck. "Because," she whispered conspiratorially, "I wanted to make sure he knew what a catch I was."_

I remember laughing and smiling so much my face hurt. I eventually woke up my brother, but he wasn't too upset when we started making smores.

It was hard to believe that a few months later we would be orphans.

* * *

There was something wet and rough pressing against my neck. I squirmed away as a gust of warm air rushed against me followed by a whine. Blearily, I opened my eyes pushing Diana's wet nose from my neck and sat up. Stretching, I looked up at the sky and realized I must have fallen asleep as it was near dusk. There was also a brisk chill beginning to set in and I needed to be back soon or Daniel would be worried.

"Hey, Brennan!" speak of the devil. Diana, my two year-old german shepherd mix, barked excitedly, and before I knew it, raced down the hill towards my brother.

"Where have you been? You were supposed to be back over an hour ago." I rolled my eyes and stood up making my way down the slope.

"I know sorry!" I replied as I sat down on a particularly slanted rock and slid down.

"Fall asleep again?" he smirked as I approached him.

I gave Diana a firm pat. "Ya," I smiled sheepishly.

We started the 30 minute walk back to camp with Diana sniffing around following us leisurely. Daniel slung his right arm around my shoulder and I scrunched my nose. "You stink," I told him poking him in the ribs in the process.

He laughed and trapped my head under his arm. "I think I smell like a sexy beast myself. Just like I'm wearing axe, don't you agree?"

I struggled minimally under his sudden head lock, but not actually wanting to hurt him. "You're disgusting. You know I could hurt you if I wanted to right?"

"Oh, big tough jiu jitsu chick. How could I ever forget? So sorry." He tightened his hold nearly suffocating me until I faked a quick jab and twisted out of his grip and had his arm at an odd angle behind his back. "Ow, what the fuck!"

"You asked for it, brat. Big sister can still kick your ass."

"Ya, _big_ _assed_ sister for sure."

I pulled his arm tighter behind his back. "I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked him sweetly.

"Nothing, oh beautiful and wise sister. Now, how about not ripping my arm off please? You'll have to fix it you know."

I released him and he stumbled forward a few steps rubbing his shoulder.

"Bitch."

"And I love you too."

* * *

That night we sat around the campfire roasting marshmallows on our last evening in Onion Valley. Daniel sat on my right and Diana lay at my feet eating a sausage. There were six of us gathered around the fire, Caroline and her husband Max, and Emma and her fiancée Hadley. Caroline and Emma were two of my best friends through physical therapy school, but we hadn't seen each other much since we'd spent our last year of school completing clinical rotations in different cities. Most of my clinical rotations had been in Arizona near our university. Caroline and Max lived near the university so I got to see them a bit more. Emma did most of hers in Los Angeles so she could live with Hadley. While we chatted weekly via Skype it wasn't the same as seeing her nearly every day for two years. Still, it was nice to have everyone together in one location for once, especially since we had something to celebrate. We were celebrating our graduation, passing our board exams, and drinking to the start of a new and hopefully successful career.

And my brother, well he was along for the ride and helping me move back home to California. He definitely needed some time away from video games, but at least video games were better than his current girlfriend, Stacy. I absolutely loathed Stacy. If there was one thing for sure, I was not letting that floozy move into our home and shack up in my 19 year-old brothers room. I don't care how hot he thought she was, she'd been mooching off of us for the last 6 months and burning holes in my furniture with her cigarettes long enough. Yep, I definitely had a few negative feelings towards this girl. Don't get me started on the amount of makeup she had caking her eyes.

Emma started singing a favorite song of mine and I couldn't resist the temptation to bring out my guitar and make a production of it. I smiled at Emma and countered her lighter high pitched voice with my lower one and laughed when Diana and Cannoli (Caroline and Max's corgi), chimed in with their own melody. The dogs continued to bark and Emma and I sang many a nameless tune well into the night. Looking around at everyone had me wondering when we would all be together like this again. We were laughing, smiling and reveling in good times now, but when would we have the chance to do this again? They had been my family (framily as they called it), and I valued family more than anything. I was going to miss them, but they already knew that and there was no way I was going to voice these thoughts to them again. It would result in Emma's infamous eye roll along with her telling me I was being too mushy.

* * *

"Shit! Daniel what the hell? You almost merged into a car!" I nearly yelled at my brother while I frantically waved an apology at the large SUV currently honking at us. At least they hadn't flipped us off. No, wait. Yep there it was, C7 unmistakably.

"Could you just lay off for one second, Sis? It's your fault anyway; you have so much freaking shit I can't see out of my windows!"

I crossed my arms and huffed at him. "My windows," I said under my breath.

He looked over at me and gave me this unbelievable look. "Yes, technically it's your car. And maybe a little appreciation would be nice. I only flew out to Arizona to help pack up _your_ crap and help _you_ move back home. Oh, and went on a camping trip with your little friends."

I stared at him irritated. "Don't give me that. I know you have a bromance going on with Max, not to mention you were hoping to catch some lesbian play by _accident_."

Daniel spluttered in indignation and his cheeks turned a twinge darker. He opened his mouth in protest and then shut it. I smirked at him and leaned against the cool window feeling triumphant.

We were on our way back from the lodge we had left my car parked at during our camping trip. I pulled my freshly cleaned hair up in a ponytail. I had thoroughly enjoyed taking a shower after four nights out in the bush. Driving from Arizona to the campsite had been a long drive, and while my brother had been a good companion for the most part, he hadn't driven at all. I was more than happy to let him drive on the way back home, despite what I thought of his driving ability.

I tried, usually unsuccessfully, to check my behavior with my younger brother. We were seven years apart with him at 19 and me at 26. Seven years was a large gap in maturity for anyone, but it was an especially large one for a man. And well, even without our parents passing away at such a young age, I probably still would have mothered him to death. Despite this, I found myself always struggling to find a balance between cool older sister and mother hen. It was not an easy task, and I continually had to count to ten so I didn't nag him about every single thing.

It was worse when I caught myself nagging.

We were so different from each other it was almost bizarre. He was a huge gamer, with innate intelligence, and an awkward countenance with women. Sometimes I just wished he had some sort of drive or desire to do something with his life. I couldn't put him through college by myself. Community college I could handle, but university was another thing entirely. With his grades I highly doubted he'd receive a scholarship, and while he had been talented in baseball, he hadn't pursued it after high school. I'd finally wrangled him into getting a part time job at Taco Bell, one of his favorite fast food chains. Oddly, he rather work there than the card shop (actually the comic book shop where he played that Magic game). I think it might have something to do with the free food.

I felt that we had finally gotten a few things figured out by this point though. I would pay for his three years at community college (he'd failed a couple of courses), and he would work part time and put the majority of his money in his savings. No matter what, he would have to take out loans for university, but at least it would only be two year's worth of loans at a state college so it wouldn't break the bank so to speak. He was doing really well so far, and I think some of it had to do with me coming home. For all of our arguments and troubles we loved each other. We were family, and blood was thicker than water, or something metaphorical like that.

The moment I turned 18 and aged out of the foster system I had gone through hell in the form of the legal system so I could become his legal guardian. We had been lucky as far as foster kids went. We stayed together through most of our years in foster care except for the last two merely because the older couple couldn't afford both of us anymore.

I started working legally as soon as I turned 16. My first job was working weekends at a local book store and a few days after school when it didn't interfere with soccer practice. During the summer I continued my weekends at the book store and managed to do a summer soccer program at a local high school. When I turned seventeen the summer before my senior year in high school I found a job working at a private outpatient physical therapy company residing in an assisted living facility. The owner and head physical therapist (PT), Dr. Jake Dawson, had been a friend of my mothers. My mother by license had been a PTA (physical therapist assistant) but had dealt more with the business aspect of PT, and actually hired Jake before he had started his own business. It was the best job both in pay and experience I could ever hope for. The atmosphere was fun, relaxed, and I found strong role models in both Jake and his PTA, Delia. Delia had taught me everything I knew about baking. At 45, she was young at heart. We had kindred spirits for the odd and creative ranging from bacon, zombies, baking, and books.

Jake and Delia had inspired and encouraged me to get into Sacramento State's kinesiology department, a pre-physical therapy degree, and later encouraged me to apply to Doctorate school for PT. I was lucky enough to get a full ride undergraduate scholarship for athletics in soccer, but still maintained Sundays at the bookstore. The elderly couple that ran it had been very generous and kind to me over the years and I felt somewhat obliged to continue even with playing an NCAA Division One sport. I probably wouldn't have graduated on time and maintained my grades as well as I had if not for taking summer classes. Not the easiest thing to do during the summer, while trying to practice and work. I ended up working Fridays at Jakes clinic and the weekends at the bookstore during the summer. Playing a sport was like having a job and to maintain and improve my skills I had to manage my time like a crazy person between working Friday-Sunday, playing soccer, and taking a college course in the summer. But the extra money was something I could not afford to lose even if soccer was paying for school. I knew I was going to need it eventually, especially since I was raising my younger brother.

Basically, the world was always spinning for me. If you weren't in my classes, on my soccer team, at work, or had something to do with my brother I probably didn't know you. Along the way I picked up a few hobby's, mostly having to do with music since my dad had been a musician. My dad had been brilliant at the harmonica, and talented with the guitar and drums, but I found I had more of a talent for the guitar and singing. Not that I was going to be winning any competitions or anything, but it was a way to connect with my dad just like being a DPT (Doctor of Physical Therapy) was a way to stay connected to my mother.

It wasn't until I entered graduate school that I actually slowed down a bit. I spent three years studying, enjoying the world and making lifelong friends. It was like the world had opened up to me. I had successfully seen my brother through high school, as I took a year off before entering graduate school to work and stay with Daniel during his senior year. I didn't work during grad school or play soccer. And while I enjoyed playing a collegiate sport and was beyond grateful for the opportunities it gave me, I was also ready to move on and begin the next stage of my life.

Moving to Arizona for graduate school had been a difficult decision. In the end it had been good for my brother who no doubt needed a little space at his age. Distance makes the heart grow fonder right? In our case yes. I wasn't continuously nagging him and he wasn't annoying the crap out of me. I came home nearly every chance I could and I think we were better for it.

Naturally being older I had been raised by our parents while he could barely remember them as he had still been in pre-school when they had been in the accident. Or technically, we all had been in the accident, but somehow my brother and I had survived. For the most part I couldn't remember much of what happened except for holding my crying younger brother and staring at the vehicle in flames. Severe concussion, the doctors had said. It still didn't explain how we had miraculously escaped the collision sans critical injury.

Deciding to make up for my absence over the last few years, I gave Daniel an annoying sisterly poke in the side. "Bitch ho aka Stacy not living up to your standards anymore?" Diana gave a loud bark from the backseat. "Diana concurs," I teased as I turned and ruffled her ears.

He snorted and started digging around in his shirt pocket looking for something. Daniel drove precariously as it was and driving one handed was making me nervous. I had trust issues with other people driving as it was.

"Stacy's done, went off with some drummer."

Great, now I felt like the worst sister/mother ever.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Sorry Daniel, really."

He glanced at me, "No you're not."

"That she's gone, no. That she was a bitch to you, yes."

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes at me and fished out a lighter and a pack of cigarettes. He clumsily began the process of lighting a cigarette when I angrily swiped it from his fingers. "What the fuck Sis?"

"What the fuck yourself Daniel! You said you'd quit! We're driving on the freeway in the dark and you are going to smoke in the car. Unbelievable."

My voice was rising in volume and I was getting seriously angry. "You know how I feel about you smoking, and multi-tasking while driving. Not to mention you lying to me!"

"Shut up, I'm tired of you trying to boss me around. You don't know anything. All you fucking do is get on my case about everything; can't you just leave me the fuck alone for once?"

We were both yelling and obviously angry by this point. It came as no surprise that neither of us noticed the flash of light or the sudden change from freeway to rocky terrain. And most definitely not the large tree.

"You never liked Stacy, never gave her a-" he continued on and it was only until I realized that the car was jerking more than normal that I looked away from him.

"Daniel…"

"-chance. Couldn't you have at least-"

"Daniel!"

"-tried for once? It's not like it would have killed you and another thing-"

"DANIEL!" I yelled at the top of my lungs and reached across him to turn the wheel and car away from the tree that way nearly upon us.

"Shit!"

We both turned the wheel hard to right while Daniel stepped on the brakes. Luckily we missed the large tree in front of us…and crashed into a much larger one.

* * *

I awoke with a startled and painful gasp. My head was throbbing. I could barely hear past the pounding in my head. I slowly blinked my eyes open and groaned as I sat up feeling the huge bump on my forehead. My hand came away sticky with bright red blood.

Great, highly oxygenated.

I tried not to panic as I stared at the bright red staining my hand but as my breathing accelerated I became more aware that every breathe I took was restricted and almost painful. Mindlessly, I tugged at the seat belt that was strapped securely across my chest. After a few fumbled attempts I managed to release the safety device and immediately took deep and calming breathes. Breathing was difficult as I was nearly in panic mode. My anxiety built until I was nearly hyperventilating and all I could think of was getting out of the vehicle. I frantically looked around, almost comically so, and winced as I turned my neck quickly. In the back of my mind I'm pretty sure I was grateful I knew a handful of talented physical therapists.

There was glass surrounding me and the windshield was beyond repair and the windows completely shattered. Slowly gaining some awareness I looked over to my brother and found him unconscious and collapsed on the air bag that had obviously been released on impact. Seeing him unconscious renewed my haste to get out of the car. I pulled on the door handle cursing until I remembered to unlock to the door.

I gracelessly fell out of the car in a heap and groaned. Fumbling with my sluggish limbs I managed to race round to the other side and grasp Daniel's door. Swearing yet again I went around back to my door and unlocked the rest of the car and then ran back around to open his.

I probably stood there for a minute with my hands fluttering in the air above him debating with myself on whether or not I should move him. Moving someone from these types of situations was never good, best to call an ambulance and get help as fast as possible. I struggled to find my ipone7 and promptly threw it on the ground when I discovered it was shattered.

A disgruntled, but painful sound came out of Daniel as I was still going over options in my mind.

"Daniel! Are you okay?" I asked frantically as he lifted his head from the air bag.

"Fuck," he swore and I gave a relieved sigh.

He immediately began to undo his seatbelt. "What the hell happened?"

I furrowed my brow, "I-I'm not really sure." I rubbed at a few tears that escaped. "Don't move!" He looked at me oddly and continued his efforts to get out of the car. "I said don't fucking move! I'm a health professional; would you listen to me for once?" I growled at him.

He acquiesced with a roll of his eyes. After a few moments of making sure it was safe for him to move I got the pocket knife from my bag and proceeded to cut his unrelenting seatbelt and slash his air bag. I helped pull him out as gently as possible and had him sit down while I gave him a once over and started asking him questions.

Daniel hissed loudly and weakly tried to push me off when I palpated his rib area. "Enough," he growled. "What's with all the poking and prodding and questions? I already have headache."

My face turned into a frown, but I didn't take his manner to heart. I'd be pretty angry too at this point. "No serious cognitive repercussions." He gave me look and I rephrased, "I just wanted to make sure you were oriented."

He gave me a dry look. "Of for the love of-you're okay mentally. Although I'm not sure about your state before" I muttered.

He winced and grabbed his rib cage when he attempted to reposition himself. I bit my lip, "I think you may have a few broken or cracked ribs. You'll need an X-ray though. We need to get some help."

"Great," he said getting to his feet. I rose after him and frowned when I realized that the woods looked decidedly unfamiliar and there was no trace of the highway. I grew even more concerned when I couldn't find Diana anywhere. After a few minutes of calling for her I heard a loud bark and saw her run out from the woods. I sighed in immediate relief and embraced her after checking her over for injuries.

"You alright, Sis? Your air bag didn't go off" Daniel asked.

"Child safety," I replied. I gave myself a once over and concluded that save for the small bleeding head wound and goose egg on my forehead I was fine. "Ya, I'm okay" I said at last still hugging Diana.

He looked at me with a goofy grin, "Oriented times three, four, whatever number it is?" I shoved his shoulder lightly at his display of arrogance.

We checked out the car first and dismally noted that it was totaled. Both of our phones were shitfaced, and my wireless on my ipad wasn't working for some reason. We got a few flashlights out and went looking for the highway, agreeing to stick close to the car as it was still pretty dark out. The more we looked around the more apprehensive and tense we were. Over an hour later and I was starting to get scared and neither of us could come up with any logical explanations as to what happened and how we got here. The foliage in the area was different as were the trees. Daniel noted that the positions of the stars in the sky were different than when we were driving earlier. And the moon was in a different phase as well. This did nothing but increase our distress.

"We should head back to the car," I said at last. "We'll figure out our next move come morning." It sounded pretty logical in my head and I was proud that my voice hadn't wavered much. If I was honest, I was getting unnerved and wanted to go back to the relative safety of our crash site. Putting it that way made us sound like aliens. No more Sci-Fi movies for a while.

Daniel nodded at me but turned to Diana at her abrupt barking. We rushed over to where she was sniffing at the leaves, her nose and ears moving at alarming rates. We followed her for a bit and our curiosity grew as she started digging. Without much effort she pulled forth a piece of odd metal. I reached down and with a little effort pulled the object from the ground with a grunt that landed me flat on my arse. Daniel and I both looked unbelievably at the object in my hands. I started to shake slightly and couldn't believe what I was holding.

It was a sword; an authentic sword covered unquestionably with dirt and dried blood. Daniel and I looked at each other with wide eyes not able to grasp what we were seeing. Nearby, Diana was pulling something else from the ground. Once free she proudly presented her treasure in my lap.

It was a severed human arm. I'm fairly certain all of the blood drained from my face. Shaking uncontrollably I struggled to scramble as far away as I could until my back was against a tree. After a few minutes of staring at the appendage, I grew aware of Daniel's retching nearby and Diana's concerned whining at my side. She licked my hand and I blinked once, then twice, but the extremity refused to disappear.

"Daniel," I croaked. I cleared my throat and tried again, "You-you okay?"

He stumbled over to my side and rudely shoved Diana over. His shoulder pressed against mine and I could feel the clamminess of his skin beneath his shirt. "No, I'm not okay. Who the fuck would be right now?" I silently agreed.

I couldn't stop staring at the arm and the sword a few meters away. Even in the darkness I felt like I could still make them out perfectly.

"Okay," I started. "We crashed into a tree-"

"A tree that isn't native to the area."

"Right" I licked my lips. "There was a light; I remember that much and we were arguing. But the highway isn't anywhere near us and the stars are in a different position."

"The moons different too."

I nodded. "The forest is a lot denser as well. And to top it off there's an authentic sword and a severed arm a few yards away."

"Please don't remind me."

"This doesn't make any sense."

He looked at me with wide eyes. "Don't say that."

"Wha-?"

Daniel shook his head, "You have sense and logic and all that shit. Don't you dare say you have no clue what's going on."

I looked at him in disbelief; I don't think I had ever seen him this scared. His fear heightened my own. "Well I don't!" I nearly yelled at him. He shook my shoulders and we angrily tousled like children for a minute for no apparent reason.

Both of us were breathing heavily at that point and I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the tree. There was nothing but the sound of our breathing and that of the night around us for a few moments.

"Aliens?" Daniel's voice whispered out. I opened my eyes and peered at him blankly for a second. He gave me a wobbly grin and I leaned my head against his shoulder accepting his obscure apology.

"Possible," I said. Truly I didn't actually believe in the existence of little green men, but I whole heartedly thought that the universe was too large of a place for humans to be the only intelligent life out there. Maybe it was a good time to stop reading so much fiction.

We were both extremely exhausted at this point and decided to head back to the car until morning. With a few complaints from our abused bodies we got to our feet and trudged back to our crash site. We unanimously decided to leave Diana's treasures behind. There was still time for this to turn out to be a bad dream.

I must have been more tired than I thought as Daniel was getting farther and farther in front of me. He turned around a moment later after noticing I was lagging behind him. "Come along Dorothy."

I quirked my brow at him as I reached his side. "What?" he shrugged. "We're obviously not in Kansas anymore."

I rolled my eyes and audibly groaned. Too weary and bewildered to berate him I gestured to Diana. "Come along Toto."

Daniel rewarded me with a tired smile and a laugh that immediately made him wince. Together we made it back to the car for the rest of the night.

* * *

Saruman the White peered into his Plantir with satisfaction. It had taken no small amount of his abilities to call forth the energy required to reach across time and space. However challenging, his task had been completed. No, he corrected himself. His task had just begun and there were many more things to see to before his efforts were rewarded.

He turned and called forth a creature of his own making, the Uruk-hai. The gruesome creatures were obedient, fierce, and ruthlessly at his command. It had taken the wizard decades to perfect this cross breed of Orc and Man, but the result had pleased him to some extent. Faithful servants were a rare commodity, but the beastly creatures were needed in large quantity, especially if he was to produce a army large enough for his disposal.

Turning at the sound of large footsteps, Saruman gazed at one of his most vile and obedient Uruk-hai, Shaataz. The Uruk-hai pounded his chest in deference and nodded to the powerful wizard.

"I have a task for you," spoke Saruman. "Gather a dozen of your most fierce warriors and best trackers. You will scour the human villages starting in the East fold of Rohan searching for an object for Lord Sauron. Tear down all who stand in your way and feast on man flesh. However, I would advise discretion. This object is of great value. You will return only upon the completion of your task, failure will not be tolerated on penalty of death." Shaataz nodded swiftly with a fierce scowl. "This image will show you what you seek. Do it no irreparable harm or there will be consequences."

Shaataz gazed into the White Wizards Plantir and furrowed his brow. Puzzled, he looked at Lord Saruman, but his face betrayed no emotion. Instead he nodded and pounded his chest once more. "It will be done."

Saruman gazed out of Isengards tower. It would not be long before events began to form and word of the return of the mighty Lord Sauron spread. Lord Saruman dismissed the Uruk-hai and turned to the small grunt orc that had been sent to retrieve Shaataz. With a small but nefarious smile he said, "Send for our guests from the Brown Lands." With a nervous nod the orc hurriedly went forth to do his masters bidding. Within a few moments he, along with a few other orcs and Uruk-hai came dragging in six dirty and half-starved Uruk-hai.

The six Uruk-hai struggled but were easily forced to their knees. Saruman approached them cordially. "I bid you welcome, friends from the Brown Lands."

The Uruk-hai nearest to him nearly succeeded in rising to his feet and spit in the wizards direction when he was forced down again. Saruman's somewhat congenial smile disappeared as he sneered at the Uruk-hai.

"I suggest you teach your kin manners before I kill them" Saruman directed to another Uruk-hai. The Uruk-hai's amber eyes glared with contempt but he gave a grunt and the other Uruk-hai quieted with a growl.

"Much better. I have a proposition for you. I need you to retrieve something of great importance. If you retrieve it your lives will be spared."

"No," growled the Uruk-hai.

The wizard raised a brow, "I believe you have no choice."

"I would rather die."

"That can be arranged, as can the deaths of your clan residing in the Brown Lands."

The proclamation was received with ferocious snarls and snapping teeth. "You lie!"

"I assure you, I am privy to the exact location. It has been beneath my notice thus far, but I can and will kill every one of them."

The emotions varied across the Uruk-hai's faces from rebellious anger to inconceivable fear. Saruman was considerably pleased with their reactions. "I do remember those days fondly, when I was first breeding your sordid race. I particularly remember breeding a young righteous woman from Rohan with piercing brown eyes and blond hair."

The Uruk-hai that had been speaking thus far grew in agitation. Saruman watched in pleasure as the creatures eyes grew wild and his nostrils flared. "Ah, then you are the babe she and her orc lover stole away with."

The Uruk-hai growled fiercely and nearly broke free from the two orcs holding him despite his obvious malnutrition. "Know this, you shall do as I say, and you and your pathetic clan will be spared. Should anything go wrong I have forces in the Brown Lands at the ready."

"How do I know you do not lie?" snarled the Uruk-hai.

"You do not."

"What's the catch?"

Saruman raised his wizards staff into the Uruk-hai's face. "I have sent a group of Uruk-hai to retrieve the very same object. If you retrieve it and bring it back first, you and your filth will be left to your own devices. If you fail, you will all die." With a rough push he removed the magical staff from the Uruk-hai's face.

"Don't trust your own?" taunted the Uruk-hai.

"I trust no one" replied Saruman. "However, in the past I have found a little incentive does wonders. You have much to gain and far more to lose should you fail. Don't you agree?"

The Uruk-hai furrowed his brow in contemplation, but could think of no other alternative. He looked at the other members of his clan and saw the resignation in their eyes. When he met Dargum's eyes and saw his nod, he turned back to the wizard. "Yes."

Upon the wizards command they were released and only under the threat of death of their kin did they not retaliate. The wizard bid him to view the object he was to retrieve in his magical orb and if possible the Uruk-hai grew more troubled. "Her appearance may be different, but the mark on her hip shall stay the same." Narghaash wanted to ask questions, but he knew they would not be taken well. They were given instructions on where to start their search and presented with a few necessary supplies.

As his group turned to leave Saruman called, "Your name beast."

"Narghaash," he spat half turned towards the wizard.

Saruman nodded, "Bring it to me unspoiled. Remember what awaits, should you fail, Narghaash."

Narghaash gave no reply as he followed his kin away from the vile Saruman.

Exiting the perimeter, Dargum looked at him. "What we have to get?"

"A white skin female." Dargum looked at him in confusion and Narghaash shrugged. As they continued on, Narghaash couldn't help but wonder what Saruman could possibly want with a single female, other than to breed her to make more of his kind. Like they did with his mother in order to make disposable creatures like him. But to go to so much trouble for one female seemed absurd.

Still, Narghaash had never seen a female with such features as hers in his life. Some part of him hoped they wouldn't find the female.

* * *

"I feel like my mum is in heaven sharing a cup of tea with Lady Fate and plotting my life out like a chess game."

- Jenny Frost

* * *

AN: Please read and review! Reviews are love and I know you people are out there. Love it, hate it, just want to say hello? Review! I typically respond to my reviewers. I know it seems slow going now, but it will pick up I promise. I have a lot to write. C7 is the dermatome that includes the middle finger.

Next Chapter: In which a brother and sister realize they are not in Kansas anymore and a impromptu rescue occurs.


	3. The Accidental Rescue

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR.

* * *

The Accidental Rescue

"Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation."

-Edward R. Murrow

* * *

Deciding to go back to the car for the night resulted in camping in the car for two nights. Fortunately, we had just been camping and had supplies on hand to last us a few days. Daniel wasn't feeling well, I suspected as a result from his injuries. I tried to help, but unfortunately what he really needed was a full medical evaluation by a physician, complete with X-rays and possibly an MRI. Hopefully, it wasn't serious and all he needed was rest.

What I really wanted, other than being home, was a nice massage. My neck and shoulders were starting to ache from the hours I had been spending hunched over tearing through all of our maps. Currently, I was perusing a map holding my compass trying to find some clue that would reveal our location. I rubbed my neck earnestly trying to ease the ache that had been building throughout the day. I was thoroughly frustrated; I was infamous for being circumspect and had planned the camping expedition meticulously. At this point there was no denying that we were nowhere near our previous location. California be damned, I wasn't sure we were on the west coast, let alone America.

As the days progressed we were running dangerously low on food and more importantly, water. I sent a glare towards Daniel that went unnoticed as I watched him drink the last of our water.

Part of me was incensed that he was completely obtuse to our situation. How was it possible that despite our predicament he was going through our supplies like we were still camping? Did he have any idea what kind of trouble we were in? I snorted, of course he didn't. His input was null and when I asked for assistance he looked at me puzzled.

"_Why? You'll figure it out, I'm not worried."_

I always solved his problems, and as far as he was concerned, I was in another one of my egregious moods obviously due to PMS. The scathing look I sent him when that had been brought up effectively shut him up. Worried indeed; I had passed worried and was precariously close to freaking out. There had to be some logical reason for this.

Who was I kidding? We were stranded God knows where, with finite supplies. How was this not a problem?

Yesterday we made a futile attempt to map our location and hopefully find other people or water. It was disheartening finding yet another spot devoid of water and any signs of human settlement.

I let out a deep sigh and lay back on the dewy grass. Despite our predicament, I couldn't help but notice how blue and clear the sky was. The sun felt warm against my face even though the air was brisk and cool. It was morning, so that was somewhat expected, but the days and nights were chilly. I couldn't help but feel that not only were we out of place, but out of season. The weather was more appropriate to early spring rather than the middle of summer.

Either way it was time we packed up and moved out. At this point I wasn't confidant that anyone was going to find us, or even knew where to search. Not like I knew where we were. The ever pressing mystery; where the fuck were we, and how the _fuck_ did we get here?

Oh well, it was time to break the news to Daniel. This was not going to be pretty.

* * *

It certainly wasn't pretty.

Sometimes it takes some catastrophic event to knock sense into you. I worked my entire life striving to make a life for Daniel and me, to give us a future. I took nothing for granted, but nor did I consider myself fortunate.

Maybe I did feel like the world owed me something. It's not like the world had done a lot up to this point but toss me around. Would it really be too much to ask for a break once in a while?

Looking back I may have been more of a spoiled brat. Sure, I owed the government over 150,000 dollars in school loans, worked multiple jobs, fought for emancipation, contested the courts for legal custody of my brother, and in the meantime picked up the pieces of our lives. Daniel and I were inseparable through it all, and family was always the most important in my mind; despite the fact that he pestered me over my love life, or lack of, and my own opinions about his terrible taste in women. But that was another situation entirely. At the end of the day we were still family, even if we were a broken one.

But just because we were family didn't mean I wanted to spend more time than I had to with him. Prior to this incident we were already at the point where we wanted to choke each other and now we were stranded together. Well, I suppose I had been hoping for some bonding time, but this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

Stuffing anything and everything we thought necessary in our huge packs and hoping to find some semblance of life out there was not on my 30 by 30 list. This was most definitely not turning out to be my favorite past time. Nope, this adventure most assuredly was not on my list and I was not going to count this as "#17 spontaneous moment."

We packed food, clothing and pretty much anything we thought might help survive out in the wild. I stuffed my ipod and ipad in my pack in compensation for leaving my guitar. I had this odd feeling that I wouldn't be seeing the car filled with luggage and personal memorabilia for a long time, if ever.

* * *

After hiking for a day we'd been lucky enough to find a river in the forest. We'd been hiking since sunrise and according to my watch it was nearing noon. After sighting the river we decided to take a break. I set about purifying some water while Daniel pulled off his pack and sat beside me. This river wasn't on any map I could find. Although, the river and surrounding area was beautiful.

Usually there were settlements or campgrounds near water, or so I had hoped. After taking a rest for nearly an hour we decided to continue on for another couple of hours before finding a place to rest for the night. The map was useless, unless you counted the fact that it served as scratch paper.

The more we ambled on the more I felt we were heading into the unknown. We didn't talk much throughout the day. I'm pretty sure the only one of us having a good time was Diana, but even then I think she was ready to go home. Her eyes seemed to be asking _when do I get to sleep on a bed again?_

I couldn't agree more.

We found shelter under an area shrouded by the trees. Daniel and I made short work of hitching our tent and settling in for the night. We ate a protein bar a piece and he pretty much passed right out. While I was completely exhausted my brain was going a mile a minute and I found myself tossing and turning. I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke up rather suddenly with my heart pounding and my clothes clinging uncomfortably to my skin. I don't know why, but I felt afraid. It was like I had awoken from a particularly terrible nightmare, but I couldn't recall anything, which was exceptionally uncharacteristic for me. Usually my dreams were vivid, almost like watching a movie, only I'm aware that I'm dreaming. But this time it felt as if something was watching me. Not just watching me, but staring into the depths of my soul.

I tried to go back to sleep to no avail. Instead I fished around for my flashlight and woke Diana up in the process when I shined it over her. She came over and put her head in my lap. When people say that a man's best friend is their dog, it is completely true. I scratched her ears as I reached into my bag and pulled out my compass, atlas, and map. Holding the flashlight in my mouth I poured over the map uselessly. I'm not sure why I thought it would do any good at this point.

I had probably been awake for about fifteen minutes when Diana's ears perked up and she lifted her head. I stared at her for a moment and turned my attention outside the tent listening for anything out of the ordinary. Erm, poor choice of words at this point. Diana began to growl softly and her ears shifted back aggressively. Slowly, I reached into my bag and pulled out my semi-automatic pistol and quietly loaded the magazine.

Diana, while sweet and loyal, also served as a watchdog. I was a single female living on my own and felt safer having a dog for a companion and protection. Thus, Diana was trained exceptionally well and I knew that if she sensed something was wrong, it probably was.

Trying not to startle Daniel, I nudged him awake with my foot. Diana stood and was getting agitated.

"What's going on?" I shushed him quietly. Daniel blinked his eyes at me and opened them wide staring at me. I don't blame him; I would be a little stunned if I woke up to someone holding a pistol as well. He looked from me to Diana and immediately snapped into full lucidity.

"Something out there?"

I shook my head, "Not sure."

"What do we do?"

"We can't stay in here, we're at a disadvantage in the tent."

"Right, okay." Out the corner of my eye I saw him run his hands nervously through his hair.

"Get your knife out."

He nodded and silently slipped it from his pack. We made eye contact and he opened the tent. The pistol was loaded but I hadn't taken the safety off. I wonder if he knew that. While Daniel wasn't in front of me, if it was me I'd still be nervous having someone point a weapon in the vicinity. At least he knew I was a good shot and that I would never joke around like this.

Diana went out first and I followed on full alert. Daniel was close on my heels as I squinted and tried to see through the darkness. After a minute of listening to the quickness of my heart, I heard a rustle and what sounded like voices off to the left. Diana's ears perked and she let off a bark.

"Diana quiet!" I chastised, but it was a little late for that. If anyone was out there they were no doubt aware of us now.

This was a situation I had never prepared for, and I liked to know someone who had. The only thing I could think of was going towards the disturbance before anything found us first. Not entirely logically, but in a panic situation that was all I could think of at the moment.

I gestured to Daniel and he nodded following me closely. "That thing loaded?" Even though he whispered his voice sounded loud to my ears. I nodded to him. "Good."

As we moved through the woods I heard voices, not just one but many. There was light coming through the forest from a camp fire and the sounds grew more distinct. Someone was struggling and the voices were panicked. Someone was in distress.

Now I will fully admit this may not have been the smartest move, and maybe it was the Gryffindor somewhere in me, but I felt that I had to see what was going on. This situation wasn't ordinary by any circumstances. It was becoming quite clear that Daniel's Wizard of Oz reference a few days back was now applicable. Perhaps I could turn this crazy camping trip gone wrong into a best seller when we got back?

Luckily the night was providing us some protection, despite the fact that the moon was exceptionally bright. Without the lights of the city it was truly amazing to see how many stars were in the sky.

The closer we got the more the situation became clear, and also more unbelievable. We crouched low behind a group of trees and peered onto the unsuspecting campground. There were a group of three men, two women, and two children. The first thing my mind saw was the danger. The adults were being assaulted and the children were being held hostage while a few of the assailants looted their meager camp ground. The second thing I noticed, and I did a double take, was the faces of the pillagers. It was straight from a science fiction monster movie.

There were four of them and they were large, with dark scaly skin, and large teeth. Their eyes were red and they looked absolutely filthy. For all purposes, they visually resembled an orc from across the realms of science fiction. My eyes must have been bulging out of their sockets and I looked quickly at Daniel and his mouth was hanging slightly open. We looked at each other and he gave this unbelievable shrug, obviously just as shell-shocked and confused as I was. Diana began to growl lightly again crouched at my feet, and I gave her a soft pat on the head to settle her.

In a last ditch effort to make sense of the situation, I thought that maybe this was some kind of cosplay gone to the extreme? Or possibly a movie production? It could totally happen right? It didn't look like anyone was getting seriously hurt, and only the obvious fear of the normal, err villager clothed people, gave anything weird away. I scanned the area again and gasped when I saw a woman sprawled on the ground. She was covered in bloody gashes and her skirts were pooled suggestively up her thighs. It was one of the most disturbing scenes I've ever laid eyes upon. I stifled my disgust and sudden nausea and looked fearfully at Daniel. His eyes trailed to where I had been looking and he looked just as sick as I felt.

There was no way something that looked that real could be fake. I turned the safety off on my pistol. One of the orc looking assailants holding the children made a threatening gesture and leered at one of the women. The woman was completely distressed, and I could only assume the child was hers as she was sobbing uncontrollably. The orc laughed and one of the others knocked the woman to her knees and I clenched my hands tighter around my weapon in sudden anger.

The child was shaken again roughly and the woman pleaded to no avail. When she was forced onto her stomach with her hands behind her back, I wanted to shoot the monster right there. One of the men called out and made an attempt to struggle but he was quickly backhanded. A third orc smiled and walked straight up to him and stuck a sword through his stomach. The man dropped to the ground instantly spewing blood. I stared at him and the blood drained from my face. My eyes stung as I saw his body shudder and he lay absolutely still.

Daniel moved closer to me and I turned slightly acknowledging him. "Can you hit them from here?" I could barely hear him.

I bit my lip, uncertain for a moment. We weren't far, not quite 40 yards, but it was dark. And while I love the show _The Walking Dead_, those people cannot shoot a pistol one handed and hit a zombie in the head from a mile away, most weapons just don't work that way, I'm sorry.

I was hesitant to do anything, let alone without a warning first. This was a bad idea, five assailants against my brother, me and my dog. I didn't care for those odds, but what other options did we have? There was no way to inform the authorities, assuming that would have worked where we were. One of the uglies approached the woman down on the ground and started undoing the front of his pants. I whipped my head to Daniel.

"Don't do anything, we'll go in with a warning on three, okay?" I lipped to him.

Just as he nodded I heard the sudden crack of a twig and Diana jumped up barking like mad. It all happened to fast. Daniel was ripped from my side and another one of the creatures that we hadn't seen in the group dragged a madly struggling Daniel away from our hiding spot.

In the back of my mind I processed that the deformed man had a weapon, but in the midst of attacking Daniel, Diana savagely attacked his leg. Black blood oozed freely from the wound and I saw it dribble from Diana's jaw. I hesitated briefly, but when the foul creature cried out in anger and attempted to kick her I took aim. I fired once, twice, and the force of the momentum from the shot threw his head back sharply and Daniel fell forward.

My heart was pounding and I heard screaming from behind me accompanied by a deathly roar. I turned quickly while Diana rushed pashed me in the same moment. The attacker was stalled for a moment and when he swung at Diana I fired three times. He hit the ground hard and lay still. Daniel was yelling at me and I had no idea what was going on. All I could feel was the adrenalin in my system and the uncontrollable urge to abolish any threat by whatever means possible.

I ran into the small clearing and saw the struggle. In the commotion the assailants had lost some control and the humans were struggling. It made sense since I shot two of them, presumably dead. One of the men had taken a fallen hatchet and severed one of his attackers arms. I got off a shot in the orcs opposite shoulder that stunned him long enough for the man to bury the hatchet into his skull. I avoided the gruesome scene as much as possible but nodded at him before turning to help gather a young girl running from the scene. She kicked me hard in the shin, but I quickly disabled her and disarmed her of her weapon, a large stick.

A few moments later there was near silence save harsh breathing and crying. The young girl, about six or seven years old, attempted to bite me and I grabbed the back of her neck and looked into her eyes.

"Not a good idea, I'm trying to help you."

She looked at me stubbornly and peered over my shoulder. I turned, still holding onto the girl. The man narrowed his eyes and hesitantly looked from me to the pistol somewhat puzzled.

He peered down at my side, "That's my daughter." I blinked and shook my head to clear my tunnel vision. Only then did I realize the girl and been trying to run to the man.

"Right, sorry." I released the girl and she flung herself into her father's arms as he lifted her easily. The girl buried her face into his neck, but not before giving me a scathing look. I rolled my eyes and looked around me. The four original creatures plus the one that had surprised Daniel and I were down and accounted for. "Are there any more?" I asked the man.

"No."

"We should check and make sure." He gave me the oddest look but nodded. He called to the other man and set his daughter down.

I took a deep breath and tried to relax. I scanned the area and saw Daniel was over helping the woman who had been forced prone while she held the young boy to her breast. I spotted Diana gnawing on one of the creatures' arm and I felt my stomach roll.

"Diana!" I hissed in disgust. She trotted over to me happily and I avoided any and all licking from her. Her mouth was thoroughly covered in that disgusting black substance. I gave her a solid pat and a big hug despite what had been in her mouth a moment ago. I was so thankful none of us were hurt.

I got up and walked over to Daniel who was attempting to calm the woman and her son. "Daniel, one of us should go help scout the area and make sure everything is clear."

He nodded, "I'll go."

"Alright, here." I handed him my pistol trying to release my grip. I knew he was a good shot and it was best that I check and make sure no one was injured.

He took the gun and started to rise when the woman grabbed his sleeve. "Please do not leave us."

He knelt back down in front of the woman and took her shoulder and looked into her eyes. "I'll be right back, I promise. My sister Brennan is going to stay with you." I've hardly ever seen Daniel this serious.

When she did not let go of him again, I turned to her. "What's your name?"

After a moment she glanced at me, "Léofwyn," she said distractedly.

"Léofwyn, my brother is going to help make sure everything is safe. But I need your help to make sure everyone isn't hurt okay? Can you do that?"

She nodded and released Daniel. Daniel handed me one of the monsters fallen swords and I took it looking at the red stain on the blade. It was the blade that had been used to stab one of the men earlier. "You've used a sword before, right?"

"Holding one and using one are completely different."

He shrugged. "Better than nothing."

"Do you need Diana?"

"She should stay with you."

I nodded and gripped the sword. "Be safe, don't do anything stupid Daniel."

He looked at me for a minute and turned to leave with the other two men.

I stood up, taking my new burden with me, and walked over to the man that had been stabbed earlier. I checked his pulse and put my ear to his face and peered at his chest for any sign of life. I awkwardly lifted my head and shuddered.

"Is he alive?" I shook my head and Léofwyn let out a sob.

"I'm sorry," I said as I brushed my hands over his eyes to close them. "Was he family?"

"Yes, my brother-in-law." I rose and regarded her.

"Is your husband one of the other men?"

She shook her head sadly. "My husband perished in battle against a group of orcs months ago."

I blinked at her, but I was fairly sure I heard her correctly. There was no doubt that she had used the term orcs. There was no mistaking that this was actually happening. Wherever we were, we were in some form of alternate reality where orcs existed. We were completely screwed.

I was brought out of my inner turmoil by the young girl grabbing my wrist abruptly and pulling me. "Woah, what's wrong?"

"My Mother, you must help her. You are a healer, yes?" I blinked, startled, and nodded to her.

She pulled me over to the other woman in the group who was sitting near a wagon. I tried my best to smile at her. "Hi, there, looks like you were hit pretty hard." She was a woman near my age with dirty blond hair and blue eyes. She was rather pretty, if not for the swollen and split lip. "My name is Brennan, and I'm a healer. I just want to make sure you're alright, is that ok?"

"Y-yes." She was obviously in slight shock from the ordeal.

"Can you tell me your name, please?"

"Gléowyn, it's Gléowyn."

"Good, well I am going have you do a few things for me, okay?"

I checked her for any signs of head trauma, but for the most part she seemed alright, mostly just shook up. "Are you hurt anywhere else?" She nodded at me and pulled up her skirts and saw her left ankle was swollen.

"That looks like it hurts." I tried to give her a smile, but all I saw were tears in her eyes. "I just want to check your ankle. It may not feel very good though. What's your daughter's name?"

"Heruwyn."

Ah, so the little biting monster had a name and was spawned from a woman after all. I looked over her ankle and kept up the small talk trying to distract her. She had a moderate sprain, most likely an inversion sprain of the ATFL. Bemusedly, I went about ordering Heruwyn to retrieve material to temporarily wrap her ankle. I tried to avoid looking over to the older woman I had originally seen laying cold and dead on the ground.

Léofwyn must have seen my gaze and she grabbed a cloth from the wagon and covered the woman, and did the same with her brother-in-law. Idly, I wondered why she seemed so composed. In fact, they all did. True they were shaken up, and frightened, but no one was hysterical or seemed to be in complete shock. Was this type of attack not uncommon?

Léofwyn grabbed her arm as she passed and gave her condolences. "At least the children are safe," she answered.

Gléowyn nodded and looked at the sheet covering the older woman. "But now we have no mid wife for Déorhild."

Léofwyn sighed and stroked her sons hair. Or at least I thought he might be her son. "We knew it would be a risk to cross these lands. They are getting more perilous as the days pass. We were very fortunate that you and your brother happened upon us."

The attention of the two women and the children turned towards me.

"Are you a healer, or a shield maiden? I have never seen weapons such as yours." The picture of where Daniel and I had landed ourselves started to paint itself. Gléowyn peered at me curiously and I tried not to fidget under her gaze as I thought up something to say in response.

Luckily Diana proved to be a wonderful distraction as she started sniffing towards the children. "This is Diana, she is very sweet." The children wasted no time petting her and showering her with attention which Diana completely ate up. She was such a spoiled dog. Well I wasn't about to complain, she had been a life saver against these creatures, or as Léofwyn had named them, orcs.

"Sweet, you say. Your beast viciously attacked the orcs," Gléowyn said skeptically. I could tell she was hesitant and debating on whether she should allow her daughter to pet Diana.

"She is well trained in distinguishing an enemy in dangerous situations," I assured her. She seemed slightly assuaged by this, but only slightly.

"How is it that you happened upon us?"

Oh yay it was question time. I could tell I was going to be lying out of my ass. I sure hoped Daniel wasn't saying anything that would totally contradict me. "We were settled nearby, and Diana heard something."

"That is awfully brave of you to seek out the disturbance, but very fortunate for us." Léofwyn was starting to grow on me.

"Entirely too fortunate." I glanced at Gléowyn and her eyes were distrustful.

I raised my eyebrows, "Well, by all means I didn't realize you had the situation completely under control. My apologies, as soon my brother returns we'll be on our way and leave you to the next kindly group of orcs."

The two children looked at me and then their mothers fearfully. Okay, that probably wasn't very nice of me. Come on Brennan, reign in the temper. I sighed, "Sorry, I didn't mean that."

"As you should be." Maybe I did mean that after all.

Léofwyn glanced nervously between Gléowyn and I. "We were very fortunate and we do thank you. May we inquire why you were in this forest? If it's not too much trouble."

I licked my lips and swallowed. Deception wasn't my best skill, but I was exceptionally good at story telling. "My brother and I are looking for some help actually. We were in an accident a few days ago and-"

"Oh attacked by orcs as well? How truly terrible!"

I nodded dumbly and went with it. "Yes, it was orcs. Definitely orcs. Ugly mother-fu-guys." I said glancing at the kids.

"Were you separated from your party?"

"No, it's been just my brother and me for a while now. Our parents were killed in an accident when we were young." I glanced around and spotted the wagon. "Horse, um wagon accident, very traumatic."

"I am truly sorry." And I could tell that she was. I relaxed slightly and smiled at her. Léofwyn had very kind eyes and a soft demeanor.

"Thank you."

"You speak funny" Heruwyn added snottily. Ugh, like mother like daughter I suppose.

"Yes, where is it you come from exactly? Surely not Rohan." Gléowyn, irritating as she was, had just finished painting the picture.

I took a deep breath and the blood drained from my face. I must have swayed slightly because Léofwyn braced my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

I bit my lip and gave her a wobbly smile. "No, we've been up and down Rohan but spent most of our time in Gondor. We've not spent much time in one place." Léofwyn gave me a sympathetic smile shaking her head in understanding. It was nice to see a friendly and compassionate face even if she was unaware of the real circumstances. There was no way I could tell these people the truth. They lived in a world with elves, goblins, orcs and hobbits and wizards, but how would they take to strangers from another world? The race of men in Middle Earth was divided at best, and there was fear and tension between them. It was unsafe for Daniel and me to tell anyone of our true heritage. Fear made people do unimaginable things, terrible things. No, it was best we align ourselves with the race of men. Daniel and I were going to need help in this foreign land and these people were our ticket to survival. At least until we found a way back home. More than likely, the solution would come from the elves or a wizard, like Gandalf.

Gandalf, that was brilliant! A plan began to form in my mind. Daniel and I could find the grey wizard, or white depending on the timeframe. I knew the rough timeline from the books and the movies, but somehow I'd have to figure out which timeline this world fell under. Good thing I had the novels on my ipad. I admit to being a total dork, but I wasn't a fanatic like a few of my friends. I knew details, but not down to the smallest one and I wasn't fluent in any of the languages Tolkien designed for the novels. I knew a few words and phrases in Sindarin and Black Speech, but that was the extent of it.

Gléowyn sniffed haughtily. "Yes, Gondor that would explain it. My husbands cousins wifes nephew lives in Gondor. Ruffians I hear, it is no wonder your speech is awful." Léofwyn shook her head and disagreed, apparently she had distant family from Gondor who were not ruffians.

I tuned their conversation out and looked to my right and saw one of the orcs I shot earlier. I stared at his sightless eyes and at the blood pooling from the bullet wound feeling cold. How had this happened? How did I go from worrying about my new job and Daniel, to taking a life? As both women conversed I tried to slow my breathing and get rid of the sudden spots that were dancing before my eyes.

Somehow, someway, Daniel and I had landed ourselves in Middle Earth.

Middle _fucking_ Earth.

* * *

Daniel was apparently much better at making friends than I was. Upon returning, thankfully uninjured and reporting no other orc sightings, he was in the midst of pleasant conversation with the wonderful men of Rohan. I wanted to wake up from this hell more now than ever. If I wasn't almost certain we were in Middle-Earth, I would have said we were in the Twilight Zone.

We spent the night burying Léofwyn's brother-in-law and the older mid-wife. It was surreal and beyond logical thought that someone could be slaughtered by a ravenous beast, more precisely an orc. I watched and aided the proceedings with as much distance as I could and the more I observed the more unnerved I became. Life always went on. I understood this concept, but to see these people picking up the pieces after such a violent attack was uncanny.

You buried your dead, mourned, and continued your day as best you could. It was a disturbing thought. Especially seeing how one of the deceased was Léofwyn's family member. She seemed sad, but reserved. I didn't know her, so I couldn't judge if this was normal behavior for her, but it appeared to be behavior born more from experience than anything else. Her husband had been killed similarly not even three months ago. Even her son, Haleth, was dry eyed. Although at three years old death probably wasn't a concept to him yet. He was a gorgeous little boy with unruly raven hair and dark blue eyes like his mother. Haleth had a very sweet disposition and was a very shy child. He was also very fond of Diana, and he spent much of his time with his hands in her fur. He was fortunate that she was very tolerant of the tugging and pulling.

After saying a few words to the deceased, Daniel and I helped pack up their gear and lead them to our meager campsite for the rest of the evening. No one wanted to stay in the vicinity of the attack and Daniel and I wanted to head back to our campsite anyway. It was safer in numbers and it seemed no one was willing to part just yet. The chore took little to no time as they had been attacked in the middle of getting settled for the evening. The wagon came with a horse and donkey. Or it actually came with two horses and one donkey, but we had only been able to recover one of the horses and the donkey.

Daniel and I got a few odd questions about our tent and gear, but nothing too exceptionally off putting. I received pointed stares and questions about my clothes in particular, but we played it up to the fact that we were nomads, and foreigners. They weren't exceptionally well travelled, so it worked for the moment. Adding to the fact that it had been a strenuous and horrendous evening for everyone and I'm pretty sure no one actually cared much at that point.

Daniel and I didn't have the privacy to discuss anything other than to relate what we had both concluded; we were in Middle-Earth. A world that involved orcs lowered our options for locations significantly. I was the more avid Lord of the Rings enthusiast, but he was able to put two and two together after speaking with the two men Éored and Éoman. Originally, he was heavily debating on us being in Skyrim until I mentioned we were in Rohan. I'm not really sure if Skyrim or Middle-Earth was better, both seemed equally catastrophic to me. At east I knew something about Middle-Earth.

Éored, father to the haughty Heruwyn, and husband of the arrogant Gléowyn, was an exceptionally decent man. For a man in this world, he was remarkably open-minded. He admired my bravery and skill when facing off against the orcs while his wife sniffed her disdain. I had absolutely no idea how he was married to Gléowyn, but it was clear that he cared deeply for his family. The other man, Éoman, was his younger brother. I hadn't spoken to him much as he seemed somewhat reserved in nature, even though he was technically Daniel's age. I suppose fighting orcs in real life versus in a video game had an impact on maturity level.

Their pilgrimage had been to retrieve a mid-wife for Déorhild, Gléowyn's younger sister who was expecting. Apparently, Déorhild resided in a small nameless village somewhere in the Eastfold of Rohan, a very dangerous part of Rohan roaming with wild orcs. It was so remote that they needed to retrieve a mid-wife for the impending birth, which was the poor woman who had been slain by the orcs before we happened upon them last night.

Upon discovering I had experience with children and knowledge of the birthing process and development, Daniel and I were immediately invited to accompany them. I was reluctant at first but Gléowyn was especially adamant. I tried to explain that I was not a trained mid-wife, nor had I delivered a child before, but she was insistent. I didn't blame her, it was her sisters life and that of her unborn niece on the line. I didn't even want to imagine the infant and mother mortality rates in Middle-Earth. Any form of healer was better than none at all. They didn't have enough supplies nor enough time to return for another mid-wife. That is, if they could persuade and pay someone enough to make the journey.

Which made me wonder why Léofwyn was accompanying them and taking her son along. Léofwyn and Gléowyn were childhood friends, but it still seemed like a dangerous voyage to take a toddler on. Besides, if they were aware of the danger, how dangerous was the travel compared to where they had come from and how much worse was it where we were going?

'_Give me a disaster, give me an emergency_

_Stand me at the head of the crusade without a remedy_

_Show me to the shipwreck, show me how your bones shake_

_And when I'm at the edge of sorrows blade, show me how a heart breaks'_

Hardly anyone slept that evening. I don't think anyone was capable of sleep. Orcs, as I had known, were creatures that were prone to hunt in the evening and some disliked the sun. Both Daniel and I knew this, and it added to our credibility that we didn't question why we needed to be so alert in the evening, especially since orcs tended to hunt in packs. We tried sleeping in shifts, keeping two awake at all times, but it didn't work very well. The children drifted in and out of restless slumber themselves.

'_Be steady on your feet_

_No matter the trouble you meet'_

We were up and moving by first light. We were packed and ready well before then but needed the light to successfully maneuver through the forest and make our way to the plains. If we made good timing, we might make it to the village by mid-day.

A nameless village in Middle-Earth. I was still processing this, but I was having difficulty expressing or feeling anything at the moment. I felt oddly numb and shook out my fingers to get rid of the tingling sensation.

'_Lions make you brave_

_Giants give you faith_

_Death is a charade_

_You don't have to feel safe to feel unafraid'_

I tried to be as useful as possible and keep busy. One horse had been lost, and that meant we only had one horse to pull the wagon and the donkey was heavily loaded with supplies. To compensate everyone shouldered more supplies. Daniel and I added another twenty pounds to our load despite our already large burdens. My pack was really heavy and I was thankful we were travelling at a vigorous pace. I helped secure the horse to the wagon and attempted to get Diana to come down, but the children protested hugging her close. Diana had become somewhat of a security blanket to them. I tried protesting once more, not wanting the wagon to be heavier than necessary. I was about to force her down, but the rest of the group didn't seem to mind, in fact they encouraged it so I let her stay.

I was surprised when Gléowyn came over and took a few more supplies from the wagon. "Let them have their way if it makes them happy."

I blinked at her and nodded, slightly surprised yet again. First she had decided to walk despite her ankle sprain, and now she was carrying materials to make room for my dog to ride the wagon. Perhaps I was a little quick to judge her character. I didn't know Gléowyn or have a semblance of what her life involved. The only thing I knew for certain was that life in Middle-Earth involved orcs and other dangerous creatures.

'_Find me at the bottom looking at the vulture_

_Standing in the heart of the disease following the hard curves_

_I'm looking for the thunder, I'm looking for the blackness_

_I'm learning how to get up off my knees and all it takes it practice'_

Orcs were large monstrous creatures that were more fearsome in person than any film could hope replicate. They were monsters that I killed in cold blood. My mind couldn't separate the fact that I had taken a life over self-defense from a monstrous creature attacking a group of innocent and defenseless people. I have never killed before until last night. I've never even been hunting. In the back of my mind I knew I shouldn't feel remorse for a creature that had brutally raped and killed a defenseless woman and man, or the fact that those orcs had put my brother in danger. But it was the concept that had shaken me- that it had been relatively easy to kill, and some part of me enjoyed it.

'_Be ready on your feet _

_No matter the trouble you meet'_

Did the simplicity of the act mean I wouldn't feel as poorly about it in the future? Would it mean that I could do it easier next time, and that I could kill something less frightening? Did this mean I was capable of killing actual people as well?

'_Lions make you brave_

_Giants give you faith_

_Death is a charade_

_You don't have to feel safe to feel unafraid'_

My feet were trudging dirt and I made a point to pick my feet up more. I shouldered my pack more securely and kept pace besides the wagon. Two men, two women, and two children of Rohan travelling with two strangers so out of context it wasn't even conceivable. I turned my head to the wagon, oh and Diana. Nine. Wow this wasn't prophetic at all. Sure I was counting a dog, but a group of nine individuals travelling the plains of Middle Earth was very fitting.

'_I'm not the hunter, I'm not the marked_

_Just looking for wisdom in the dark'_

Our pace was consistent throughout the day and the weather was actually pleasant. The sun was starting to make its way down, and I knew it must be nearing late afternoon. When I spotted the small settling in the distance my stomach knotted and I felt my throat tighten and the sting of unshed tears.

'_Lions make you brave_

_Giants give you faith_

_Death is a charade_

_You don't have to feel safe to feel unafraid'_

I paused looking at the changing colors in the sky noting how at least this was something familiar. The sun moving throughout the sky and the stars and the moon were all comforting images. I stood still, and let the wagon and everyone pass me. They were all excited to have reached their destination at last, and at such a great cost. I was hesitant to take those final steps though. Walking into that village would make it real and not some horrible nightmare.

I felt Daniel's presence before he brought his hand to my shoulder. He didn't say anything for a time and we stood there falling farther behind.

'_Lions make you brave_

_Giants give you faith_

_Death is a charade_

_You don't have to feel safe to feel unafraid'_

"Going in there is going to make this shit for real."

I swallowed and nodded still gazing straight ahead. "I was thinking the same thing. I'm scared Daniel. I hate this, not knowing what's going on."

"Me too, but we're here together." Daniel wrapped his arm around me and squeezed. "Well come on then, let's make this legit."

Before I could even turn to ask him what he meant he started making these weird skipping and hopping motions, dragging me along with him. I struggled with him for a minute before I straight out laughed.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I hit him squarely in the chest once he released me. Although, I was glad to him smiling and feeling better.

Daniel rubbed his chest in a pout and shrugged. "I know it's not the yellow brick road or anything but I thought we might make an effort to do it justice."

I shook my head in disbelief amazed at him. Struggling not to cry I rubbed my eyes and shoved him a bit. "That was a pitiful attempt. Now, I'll show you how it's properly done Scarecrow."

He stared at me for a minute and his face transformed into a toothy grin. He wrapped his arm around my waist and dropped a quick kiss on top of my head. "Why do I gotta be the scarecrow?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

We Wizard of Oz skipped into the small settlement as Diana ran up to us barking gleefully.

'_You don't have to feel safe to feel unafraid'_

* * *

"A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles."

~ Mignon McLaughlin

"Lions!" – song by Lights

* * *

AN: Please READ and REVIEW!

Next Chapter: In which Brennan discovers rural village life really sucks.


	4. The Village

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR.

* * *

The Village

"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."

~ Arnold Bennett

* * *

**Early May 3018**

Narghaash pushed his pack to near exhaustion once the White Wizard had sent them on their task. It was late and they were near desperate for a fresh kill but weeks of a grueling pace paid off. They had finally caught up to Saruman's band of Uruk-hai and orcs that had been sent to locate and capture the same female.

It was disgusting the way they carried on, pillaging and doing as they pleased with no respect for the land or its inhabitants. He could only imagine what his Mother would say about such behavior. His Mother was prone to worry, and if she was upset no doubt the rest of his family was as well, especially his Father. Father fed on the emotions of the family, he was a mountain orc after all and they were strung high and attuned to the scents and sentiments of pack. Narghaash was the same way, in some ways more so.

That was how they had been captured in the first place. He, along with his party, had been on a routine hunt, when they had sensed they were being tracked. Fearful he would lead the pursuers to their families he had led them on an unsuspecting chase. There had been little choice as their settlement was filled with women and children, and not nearly enough warriors to hope for an outcome where his people came out unscathed. The thought of his younger brother and sister, not yet in their prime, in the hands of this foul breed of Uruk-hai sent his blood boiling. In the end it had mattered little what precautions and strategies he had attempted to make. In the end he and his folk had still been captured and now his kin were in danger if he and his group could not secure the female for Saruman. His mind berated him for being so careless. How could he have let them fool him so? He was a strong bred warrior and pack leader, second to none, except for his Father.

It had been too long since he had seen others of his kind. He could almost forget that he was bred from such fifth as them, but looking upon them now he was reminded of what he could have become- a simpering beast with a mind that thought only of blood and cruelty.

Tracking fifteen Uruk-hai and orcs had proven fruitful. For their leader, Shaataz, had found a trace of the female. They had stumbled upon the remnants of a camp that the female had clearly been in. The female, however, had not been alone. They had been attacked by a group of orcs and it appeared they had lost two of their party from the meager graves that had been dug for their human companions. What impressed Narghaash were the dead orcs that lay scattered. A few of them had wounds that he had never seen before.

It was clear that these humans had left travelling together, but it was not by looking at this camp site that Narghaash had come to the conclusion.

Dargum, his trusted friend and second, had discovered a trail that led to another campsite, the one that the female had solely occupied with a male and a small beast prior to meeting with this band of humans. It was the most astounding sight he had ever seen. There were items that he had never seen before and had no idea what they were. One was a large metal box where most of the items were stored. The tracks from the camp led to where he was now. Clearly they had heard the distress from the orcs attacking the other group of humans and had run to their aid. What confounded him is that they had succeeded in taking care of the threat. Perhaps this female held a weapon that Saruman wished to procure?

Narghaash continued to watch the group of orcs keeping track of their numbers hidden by the brush and keeping his scent upwind. Dargum crouched low next to him and sneered. "Did you find anything else?"

Dargum took a deep breath and sneered at the orcs. "Yea, found a trail leading from their other camp leading out of the forest. Looks like the two party's left together a few weeks ago."

Narghaash nodded. "We'll follow."

Dargum looked at him somberly. "They'll find the camp, they ain't that dumb. We can't do nothin' 'bout it unless we wanna kiss our asses goodbye."

"Didn't say we ain't gonna let 'em find the other camp."

Narghaash could feel Dargum's eyes on him and he turned slightly keeping his gaze partially on the Uruk-hai before him. "What are you scheming?"

"Like you said, they'll find the other camp, and the trail you found. What we need, is to keep _them_," he motioned to the orcs and uruk-hai, "off the scent long enough to find the female first."

Dargum grinned. "I love a good chase."

"I know. Take Gorûrz with you. Keep out of sight and whatever you do don't get caught. Do what you can but if it means they find the trail it don't matter. You hear?" He snarled low making his point.

"Got it."

Narghaash watched him head back to the camp and moved slightly to position himself better. His hand landed on something other dirt and foliage and he frowned looking down. He clasped the dirt and picked up the object in his hand and brought it closer to his face. It was on a silver metal chain, some form of jewelry. The object was also a dark silver and almost resembled some type of flower, but it was clearly not. Narghaash thought it an odd but attractive trinket. Sniffing it, he discovered that it smelled distinctly of a female, although the scent was faded. And that's when he remembered seeing this shape in from the image the Wizard had shown him. IT was the same image branded into the females' skin. The clasp on the chain was clearly broken but he bent the metal and tied it so it would stay securely enough. Deciding to keep it and perhaps give it to his younger sister, he fastened the odd symbol around his neck and let it settle against his chest.

* * *

The shrill sound of chickens and general hustle and bustle in the morning was difficult to ignore. Groaning, I cracked one eye open and then the other peering over my shoulder to look at the time on my ipad. I blinked not fully awake wondering why it wasn't there for a minute. Oh yea, I was in Middle-Earth now, so much for modern conveniences.

It wasn't even light out yet so I grumbled and rolled over on my pallet on the floor and pulled my pillow made of a combination of leaves and old feathers over my dirty face. I was lucky enough to have a pillow. Déorhild had made one for me and my brother our first week in this nameless village, or as I liked to refer to as hell. Screw Middle-Earth, this was liked being trapped in the Middle-Ages. We were fortunate to have a place to sleep these days.

Déorhild was entirely too kind natured for her own good, but she had a certain wit and humor to her that was refreshing. I was expecting the younger sister of Gléowyn to be a bit more, well more like her to put it in the nicest way possible. I was finding out the more I assumed in this miserable place, the more wrong I was.

"Get up, 'rise and shine' as you say!"

Like now for instance, I had assumed there was still another hour before the sun rose. Sleeping in was a foreign concept to these people, that and late evenings. You woke up and went to sleep along with the sun. It made sense to an extent, since electricity hadn't been invented yet, or even the gas lamp. Or would they be invented? Daniel and I still hadn't figured these things out and we weren't sure if we ever would. We couldn't decide between either being sent to some parallel world, or maybe we were in a part of history that time had simply forgot? Historical records were only so accurate, and if we were living in Middle-Earth some recording of the events had been kept, or Tolkien would never have written about it. But these were all theories and speculations at best.

"Come now, or are you as lazy as my Mother claims?"

With one swift motion I unfurled from my pallet and launched the pillow straight at Heruwyn. She gasped in surprise and glared at me haughtily when it caught her in the stomach.

"That was not funny Brennan!" I smiled cheekily at her and sat up stretching my arms high overhead.

"I sure thought it was." Her face looked like she was truly constipated for a moment before she broke out into smiles and laughter. I laughed with her and ran my hand through her hair as I passed her. I splashed some water from the basin over my face and wiped it with a cloth.

"What time is it?"

"Nearly five. I'm helping Aunt with breakfast. I've nearly finished all of my chores for the morning. You said if I did I could help you check my aunt and her baby today."

"Do I have time to wake up or is your mother going to barge in and drag me by my hair, or even better, grace me with a pail of water?" Which had actually happened once or twice when I hadn't been up before sunrise. She knew not to do that again after I had startled awake and disabled her and nearly frightened her to death. Nevertheless, Gléowyn was a hard woman to intimidate and she threatened me with a similar wake-up call if I wasn't up the next morning on time. I admired her nerve and boldness, despite her surly attitude and I was indeed up and about the next day.

Heruwyn giggled and shook her head negatively. "I am sorry, but she is rather insistent today that you have your breakfast and check Aunt Déorhild. You will have no time for your," her nose wrinkled in concentration, "jay jitzi."

I shook my head bemusedly, "Jiu-jitsu. Is Déorhild alright? Do I need to see her now?"

"No I am certain she is fine. Mother is frantic as Aunt did not sleep through the night. How she knows this I am uncertain."

"You Mother knows everything. I've learned not to question it." I joked and rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

Heruwyn placed my pillow back on my pallet and I saw her fold the blankets in my peripheral vision. She smoothed out the sheets and smiled at me. "I am sure Mother thinks similarly of you."

I picked up the only dress I had, gifted to me by one of the elder women in the village. There were moments when I thought it would have been fun to dress up and play pretend, but this wasn't pretend anymore. And now after a few weeks of wearing one dress nearly every day I longed for my washing machine and running water. The simple conveniences of modern indoor plumbing would be most welcome at this point. I was so tired of bathing and washing my clothes in the stream. It was over a mile away and in these lands it wasn't safe to go alone. And other than me, no one was as concerned about hygiene.

"I doubt that."

"Oh, no she thinks you are very smart," she whispered comparatively as if Gléowyn were nearby. I put my hands on my hips and gave her a skeptical gaze. "It is true!" She waved her hands as if it would make me believe her more. "She is always scolding others when they are not heading your health advice." Her voice reached a lower whisper, "I think she is wary to upset you since you put in her in that thing when she threw water on you."

I stifled my laughter and covered my mouth. "A mount, I put her in a full mount." I really hadn't meant to stun her, but I had a black belt in jiu-jitsu and some things were ingrained.

"Yes, well I have never seen Mother so startled!"

"I think we better get going before she starts suspecting us" I teased.

I grabbed the bottom of my night shirt and grimaced feeling the rough material slide against my body. I took the dusty dress I had been wearing for weeks and slid it over my head. It fit well in some areas and in others not so much. It was obvious that the women here had a difficult time maintaining a healthy weight. Food was scarce and the work was physical. You simply expended more energy than you took in. The woman whom the dress had belonged to had been the beloved daughter of the only other healer in the village. A healer who knew more about weeds and herbal remedies than the human body. But I admit, she was a kind older woman and I was excited she had decided to pass along what knowledge she had. Knowing the flora and fauna was going to be essential if I was to live in this land however temporary it was. And it was going to be temporary, just as soon as I figured shit out.

I tightened the bust of the dress a little. Despite malnutrition, women's bust sizes hadn't been affected that was for sure. Boasting a small C cup wasn't anything in comparison to these women. Maybe it was all of the organic stuff they ate? Unfortunately, this woman wouldn't be impressing anyone with her breasts or any other assets anymore. She had been maimed by a stray orc a few months before our arrival. Apparently, there hadn't been enough left of her for a burial. Shaking my head to rid myself of the dark thoughts I finished tying the front and thanked Heruwyn for adjusting the back.

"You did mean it, didn't you?" She asked after she was done. I turned around and gave her a puzzled look. Clearly she had been speaking to me and I had completely zoned out.

"You said I could help with my aunt this morning."

"Oh yes, I forgot."

Her face looked stricken for a moment. "You did not mean it?"

I shook my head and chuckled. "No, I meant it. I just was somewhere else for a moment."

"But we've been here this entire time."

I rolled my eyes. It was entirely too early in the day to start playing this game. Everything I said was odd to these people and I found myself explaining myself left and right. After getting used to my verbal oddities I got labeled eccentric and left alone for the most part. A select few, such as Heruwyn, were still fascinated and wanted to know the meaning behind everything that came out of my mouth. Which was extremely irritating at times and I had to censor a lot of what I said.

Heruwyn, who had seemed like such a spoiled child at first, was one of the few friends I had in this place despite her young age. As I was discovering, death and fear were a constant presence, and moments of joy were few and far between, as was peace. Heruwyn, like those around her, had found a way to defend herself against the chaos. Her haughty attitude was a defense mechanism, one she had honed since discovering that people left, and sometimes they didn't come back. It wasn't the lessen you learned at five years-old when your gold fish died and you flushed him down the toilet or buried him outside. This was very different. In this world people went about their daily work and didn't come back, usually because of orcs. While I had never aspired to work in pediatrics, I dearly loved children, and their resilience always astounded and amazed me.

It reminded me that Daniel and I had arrived at a particularly dangerous time in Middle-Earth. Currently, it was early May of the third age, specifically 3018. Somehow, Daniel and I had managed to land ourselves in the midst of the war for the one ring, or the beginning of the end of the war really. By now, Gandalf had probably already spoken to Frodo about the ring. In a few months Gandalf the Grey would be the prisoner of Saruman the White. Or it would if everything followed Peter Jacksons timeline.

Daniel and my presence were too much of a coincidence to ignore. Our circumstance of how we got here couldn't be explained. Which is why we were biding our time here in the middle of nowhere until we could seek help. We knew little about how to survive in this world and the lands were foreign to us.

It was after many arguments, yelling and a few of our concerned neighbors thinking my brother was intending me harm, to come to a decision.

We decided to stay until Déorhild delivered her baby, and time permitting a week or two after. Our plan was to seek out Gandalf and plead for help from him and Lord Elrond in Rivendell when they would both be there for The Council. We would have to leave long before then to make such a long journey, but we were hoping to have established ourselves enough to trade for a horse and maybe a guide to help us along the way. More than likely we wouldn't find one around here, but we would in Edoras.

The journey to Edoras was going to take a week at most and reaching Rivendell, if everything went smoothly, would be at least a month or two. To reach Rivendell before the 25th of October, when the council would convene, we would need to leave for Edoras in early August to be safe. Hopefully we could stay under the radar and no one would take notice of travelers. I hoped Théoden wasn't yet under Saruman's control. I knew he would be at some point, but I thought highly of his character in the books and the movies and I didn't want to see him suffer.

Planning this trip wouldn't be catastrophic if we had my car. I wondered how long it would take if we had the luxury of going by car? How I longed for modern transportation. I really wish my car hadn't been totaled; I desperately wanted to four wheel drive through Middle-Earth, to hell how it would look. Two months of travelling by foot was ridiculous. Which is why I was really hoping Déorhild would deliver her baby sooner rather than later.

Too bad cesarean wasn't an option. I snorted, true it was convenient, but definitely not safer than a regular vaginal delivery. From what I could tell Déorhild was in the middle of her third trimester, and while most people will tell you pregnancy is nine wonderful months, it's usually about ten months of hell, especially in this place. There was little time to sit and contemplate on the wonders of life and the miracle of birth. Actually I was amazed at how little time she took relaxing. She carried on as if she wasn't pregnant. True, she was slower than before, but for the most part everyone expected her to carry on like normal.

It seemed odd to me, and I wondered why she received so little help from the others in the village. But living here had taught me a few things, some of which I already had learned but not to this extent. There were expectations to meet, and every day was struggle to get the chores done before the sun set, which is why I think Daniel and I were so readily welcomed here. If you didn't milk the cows, or feed the chickens, you eventually wouldn't eat. What you didn't get done today you suffered for tomorrow.

Wash day occurred every other Sunday, I tried to go once a week but it was difficult to find someone who was willing to walk the mile with me. Sometimes I snuck off for an hour and sprinted the distance so I could bathe in the stream and wash clothing.

Daniel was doing considerably well in regards to our new lifestyle. Who could have known that all he needed was old school capital punishment in the form of manual labor to shape up his life. Although, it was a little late for him to start on the road to maturity. My mind drifted to my new job that I hadn't shown up for, or my friends that I hadn't called. Would the world keep turning without us or did it even know we had left?

Dwelling on this never did any good. Daniel said he could tell when I was thinking about home because I brooded. And then he would call me a love struck vampire. His references never ceased to amuse me.

However, this was our reality and there was no way to change it until we could get to Rivendell.

"Brennan?" Heruwyn grabbed my hand.

I blinked and looked down at her. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

I shook my head and attempted a smile. "Go get my stuff and we'll eat breakfast and see to your aunt."

"Where's Diana this morning?"

I paused. "She's around. She's been spending the night with Daniel the last few days." I tried to keep an even tone when in reality I was really bothered by Diana's sudden favoritism towards him. She was still affectionate but slightly more distant than normal and I couldn't figure out why and it bothered me. It hurt more than being stuck in this pathetic barn. Okay, I really needed to stop judging, and I was starting to depress myself.

Heruwyn stilled briefly but perked up after a moment. "Oh, well perhaps we'll see her later."

She excitedly grabbed my small pack that contained my medical supplies and notes and hurried out the door. I followed her at a more sedate pace stretching my arms above my head.

"Ya, maybe."

* * *

When Heruwyn said breakfast what she really meant was a quick bite of mildly stale bread before starting chores. Actual breakfast, the one in which everyone gathered around a table of food, wasn't until nine on the busier days. It was a fun affair typically and included not only the direct household but a few of the surrounding families. There was a large sense of community and extended family in the village. Déorhild cooked two meals, breakfast and dinner for ten people depending on the day. Meals were the times I saw Daniel since he was staying with another family that had volunteered to take him. They were a very sweet elderly couple who had lost their children over the years and had no grandchildren. They treated him as they would a beloved son and after years of my tough love he was happy to have someone coddle him a bit. He worked diligently and was exceptionally devoted to them. Daniel was very considerate and sweet when he wanted to be and I couldn't help but be proud of him.

I entered the main living space and kitchen area following Heruwyn who was doing an excellent job of carrying my things and looking important at the same time. I tried to hide my smile not wanting her to think I was laughing at her for the wrong reasons. She could be very sensitive to teasing depending on the subject.

"Good morning, Brennan." Déorhild smiled stirring a large pot over a fire pit.

I couldn't help but notice her dark circles and pale complexion. Her smile was genuine but slightly strained. She rose to her feet with Heruwyn's assistance and one hand supporting her protruding belly.

"You look a little tired this morning. I hear you didn't sleep well?"

She nodded. "It wasn't too bad really." I restrained from rolling my eyes, but just barely. Déorhild was a very complacent woman and it was a struggle to get anything resembling a complaint from her at times. Since her self-report wasn't exactly reliable, I had to rely on my examinations and her behaviors, and even others opinions of her behavior to paint a picture of what was really going on.

"It was terrible, she couldn't sleep at all." Gléowyn huffed and dropped a bundle of materials on the kitchen table. In fact, I usually had an excess of reports from her family, specifically from her loving and always paranoid sister.

"Really Gléowyn it wasn't-" Déorhild protested lightly.

Her sister glared at her and then I found myself under scrutiny. "She was in pain and sweating through the night."

"Ok, try and relax, let's not make this more stressful." She huffed but quieted. "Difficulty sleeping is normal, and unfortunately it will get a bit harder to sleep until you give birth. Can I have my stethoscope and the blood pressure cuff Heruwyn?" Heruwyn was much more refined with her mother in the room, but just as obedient and eager to please. She handed them to me immediately and with care.

By now they were used to me doing things and were silent as I listened to her heart and respiration rate. After taking her blood pressure I frowned handing the items back to Heruwyn to put in my bag. I leafed through my notebook to record her vitals and noted her baseline. Déorhild's heart rate, respiration and blood pressure were all higher than usual. Her blood pressure had concerned me as did her weight from day one.

With that thought I looked to Heruwyn. "Hand me the measuring tape." Heruwyn opened my bag and passed it to me with care. "I'm just going to measure around your belly, so we can get an idea of the baby's growth."

"You can do that?" Déorhild asked looking puzzled.

"Yep. I'll compare it to the measurement I took two weeks ago. However, it isn't the most reliable. What I wouldn't do to get my hands on an ultrasound."

"Ultrasound?"

I paused momentarily and bit my lip looking at the measurement. She was definitely small for her date and her growth was minimal. "It's um-well a tool that does a bunch of stuff. Haven't seen one in these parts. It's really advanced." I smiled and waved the conversation in a new direction trying to distract her. "Okay how about we do something new today! How does that sound?"

She looked uncertain for a moment. "I'm not sure. I really am feeling much better." She bit her lip and frowned at Gléowyn.

"What is it?" Gléowyn crossed her arms looking tense.

"It's called a non-stress test, nothing crazy. Unfortunately, since I'm not back home I can't perform it as it's intended but it's better than nothing."

"How is it that Gondor has such technologies?"

She definitely had me there. "It's not really Gondor per say. Daniel and I stayed in this other place really far away, like Rivendell far. In fact, I think most of the outcome measures-er, tools I've used were made by elves." Well that was the biggest load of bullshit that had ever come from my mouth. Which was saying something since I've spouted my fair share of bullshit.

"Really? You've really seen elves?" Heruwyn gasped excitedly.

"Yes, but I haven't really spoken to them." Well that technically wasn't a lie. There were many elves in Peter Jacksons theatrical renditions of Tolkien's novels. "They keep to themselves mostly."

"So I've heard." Gléowyn said suspiciously. "Hush now Heruwyn."

"Anyway," I laughed awkwardly, "the baby needs to be awake and up and about for this. It'll take about 25 minutes and I'm just going to monitor the baby's heart rate and feel for movement."

Déorhild rested her hands on her stomach and smiled nervously. "I-I don't think we'll be able to. I think he's asleep."

"No problem. Do me a favor and try to go to the restroom first and then have a bite to eat. That will help wake him up." Her face drained and I smiled reassuringly.

"There is nothing to worry about Déorhild. This is just standard care. Breathe, alright?" She nodded shakily and looked to Gléowyn before slowly getting up from her chair and waddling out of the room.

Déorhild managed to eat some bread when she returned and I monitored the baby as she lay in supine. It took nearly 40 minutes, mostly because I was trying to give the baby every chance possible. The baby was unreactive. Which meant that I still didn't know anything. Something could be wrong, or the fetus could be in perfect health but I would never be able to tell, not without a fetal heart monitor, an ultrasound, an amniotic sample, or other modern test procedures. Not that that always worked accurately anyway. But at least I would have had a better clue. However, more than likely I wouldn't be the one seeing her right now. Back home Déorhild would be monitored properly by experts. I was completely out of my scope of practice. Physical therapists that specialized in pregnancy didn't do this type of testing.

"Okay, we're all done."

Déorhild raised herself up and looked at me. "That took much longer than you said."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Well, what do you have to say for all of that? You put her in enough stress you should at least be able to come up with something." Gléowyn glowered perched on a chair next to her sister.

"I understand that this is difficult for you, but right now as far I can tell we shouldn't be overly concerned at this point." Déorhild looked slightly relieved.

The only problem was that I had reason to be concerned for her and the baby but there wasn't anything I could do without modern medicine or technology. Déorhild been chronically hypertensive since nearly the beginning and without medication there was little I could do. She was small for her date and the fetus was unreactive. Add to the fact that her physique suggested malnutrition and she was at risk for any number of complications. Sometimes I was amazed how often things went right in utero considering everything that could potentially go wrong. This was one of the reasons why I had decided not to work in pediatrics. I was fearful of everything that could go wrong and it stressed me out to maximal proportions.

"I don't want to worry you, but I want to make sure you understand a few things. It is really important, now more than ever, that you gain healthy weight and rest as much as possible. You're still a little under-weight for what I'm comfortable with and we want you to be as healthy as possible for the baby, right? I'm stressing rest, and that means staying off your feet and resting when you feel fatigued. I want you to continue kegals, but nothing that gets your heart racing.

Déorhild nodded looking worried and I smiled patting her knee. "I can give you more of that herbal tea to help you sleep if you want. Is there anything else you need to tell me? Anything at all, any cramping or something else that's bothering you?"

"Well," she looked anxiously at her sister and I waited for her to continue. "I have been having some pains."

"Can you tell me where and describe the pain for me?"

Her cheeks colored spectacularly. "Down, you know."

"What do you-oh! Your lower stomach and groin area?" She nodded slowly. "Does it feel like a squeezing sensation?"

Her eyes widened and she nodded vigorously. "Yes! It's quite painful and other times not at all."

Leaning forward I patted her knee again. "False labor contractions, very normal in the third trimester, which is the later stage of pregnancy."

"I was fearful because before-I mean I just wasn't sure what they were."

"As long as they're irregular it's fine. You know, not constant or happening all the time in a pattern."

Déorhild looked panicked for a moment but she quickly composed herself. I eyed her suspiciously. "Are they consistent Déorhild?"

"Not at all."

"You're sure?" She shook her head vigorously. "Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

She shook her head yet again and I frowned. "No thank you. I better hurry with breakfast or else we'll all go hungry." I eyed her suspiciously for a moment but tried not to swell on it.

"Oh, can we have sweet buns?" I said trying to lighten the mood. Her sweet buns were the best in the entire world, Middle-Earth or otherwise.

She nodded and smiled. "Of course." She waddled out of the door and my smile faded. "Heruwyn can you go help your aunt for a bit. I wanna talk to your Mom for a second."

Ever eager to please but hesitant in the presence of her Mother, she nodded and hesitated briefly before doing as I'd asked. Gléowyn was suspiciously silent and I glanced at her while putting my things away.

I didn't waste any time. "You're not telling me something Gléowyn. You and Déorhild haven't been telling me something since I got here. I'm doing my best, but my experience is limited and you two aren't helping by keeping things from me. If it concerns Déorhild I need to know."

Her posture stiffened in her seat and said nothing for a moment. "I don't know what you're talking about." She said nothing else and I waited patiently trying my best to express my concern and unsure what else to do. All of my other options would cause undue stress on an expecting Mother and I was worried about both Mother and baby as is.

"Please Gléowyn. I didn't want to tell Déorhild and upset her since I don't have any evidence, but I'm a little worried about the pregnancy."

Her face cracked infinitesimally, and I almost thought she might say something. "As we've said nothing is wrong. You would do well to remember that there are other people here besides yourself." I sighed shaking my head. "If you will excuse me I have work to do and a husband and daughter to care for unlike some people." Ouch, low blow. I guess that was supposed to hurt. It kind of did in some weird way. I suppose her comment may have bothered me more if I had been a product from Middle-Earth and not from what I kept referring to as the "modern world." I would most definitely be labeled an old maid by now if had been born here.

Gléowyn stalked from the room after collecting her supplies from earlier and made sure to look down her nose at me real nice and proper before she left. How kind of her. This place was getting more unbearable by the moment.

* * *

Regardless of the warnings and dangers I walked the mile to the stream nearby. It was broad daylight and it was well known that most orc breeds weren't fond of the light. Not that the only dangers in this land were orcs, which is why I had my pistol shoved in a holster around my waist that was meant for a knife. I was carrying some extra laundry in a satchel on my back and it felt nice to be alone for a while. I especially needed to clear my head of Gléowyn and the constant pressures I felt to fit in and be what these people expected of me. Which in all honesty, I'm not sure what that was. For Déorhild and her unborn babe it was a midwife and healer, to my brother a loving and devoted sister. Heruwyn looked to me as one would a mentor or role model, which I'm sure her Mother didn't approve of.

I smirked, it was the tiniest of victories that meant the most. I set my burden down and stretched after reaching the small, but consistently flowing stream surrounded my large foliage. I felt a few of my vertebrae cavitate and sighed in relief. After splashing some water on my face to cool off I started on the laundry.

Most of it wasn't mine. I took out a large shawl and a bar of what passed for soap and began scrubbing in earnest. At least Aggy would be pleased when I saw her later today. Aggy had been helping me learn the about plants and herbal remedies since I came here and it was one of the few things I enjoyed about being here. She was a kind older woman who had lost the last of her family a few months ago. It was easy to tell she had been a mother as she took to mothering me quite often. Aggy's fussing was most welcome. I was alone and scared and I couldn't help but seek and take comfort where I could. And some part of me fell easy into the role of being a daughter figure to her. I suppose it was easier to imagine me as her daughter since I was wearing her dead daughter's dress and all. Apparently that was completely acceptable here. The dead didn't need their things anymore and certain items were difficult to procure way out in the middle of nowhere anyway. Take what you could get.

I rung out the shawl and laid it on rock that looked clean enough to dry for a spell. Laundry was one of the few things I could actually do and not screw up around here. As I was reaching into my parcel there was a slight rustle in the bushes to my left. Suddenly alert my heart increased in pace and I held my breath. The bushes went still, but I decided that taking chances was not in my best interest.

Continuing to reach into the bag I instead turned at an angle so my weapon was concealed. I slipped my pistol from its place at my side and stood as casually as I could. Rapidly, I swung myself around raising my weapon and turning the safety off.

"Who's there?" I demanded. "Show yourself, or I'll fire." Yes Brennan, because that makes complete sense to someone from Middle-Earth. Now they think you'll spontaneously combust.

The bushes rustled once again and I gripped my weapon tighter. I held my breath and waited until a figure jumped out towards me.

* * *

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

~ Buddha

* * *

AN: Please READ and REVIEW!

Next Chapter: In which a secret is revealed.


	5. The Secret

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR.

* * *

**The Secret**

"There are no secrets that time does not reveal."

~ Jean Racine

* * *

It was a fucking rabbit.

The rabbit was grey and sat twitching its cute little nose. Obviously, the pitiable thing had decided I wasn't a threat and was meandering around without a care. I heaved a huge sigh of relief and lowered my weapon. My stomach rumbled and I was reminded how scarce food was here. Aggy was an amazing cook and could make meals from the most meager of items. She would surely appreciate a rabbit. Looking at the rabbit too stupid to run away I reconsidered and raised my weapon. Emma would most definitely be against the eating of rabbits, as she had an adorable pet bunny named Luna. However, Emma wasn't here and I was not going to die of starvation.

Maybe I'd get lucky and I wouldn't blow it to bits…

* * *

"Aggy, I brought you something special today" I sang out as I knocked on the frame of her open door. Aggy was sitting in a worn chair crushing something in a bowl when she saw me.

Aggy lived in a decently sized home compared to most of the others in the village on account that she was one of the earlier settlers. She had settled here with her new husband as a young woman of sixteen. I tried to forget that her husband had been fifteen years older than her and the marriage was arranged. My feminine pride recoiled and if it wasn't for the fact that it was the wrong place, audience and she obviously had loved her deceased husband, I would have began a diatribe the first moment we met. Well, in my head perhaps. More than likely I would have bit my lip, smiled and nodded. Judge not was my motto. Or at least try not to.

Her weathered face turned up in a smile as she paused in her work. "Did you? How exciting, don't you think so Haleth?"

Haleth looked up from the floor playing with a set of twig figures. He kind of shrugged but glanced at the rabbit I held by the ears from under his eye lashes. His gaze was questioning and curious, which was more of a reaction than I usually got from him. Haleth was an extremely quiet and distant boy. He rarely spoke and when he did it was to a select few, mainly his mother.

I sighed in defeat. "I brought a rabbit. I'll just put it on the counter for you." I gave Haleth my standard pat on the head as a way of greeting and received a slow blink in return. He made short work of ignoring me and resuming his isolated play.

"Thank you dear. It will make a great stew." Aggy smiled suppressing a laugh. She enjoyed when I made a spectacle of myself on any level.

"Sure, anytime." I set the mostly intact rabbit on the table in her kitchen where she normally prepared meals.

"I'll make short work of dressing it in a moment. My old fingers need a rest first."

I rolled my eyes and sat at the table with her. "Aggy, you're sixty three. Stop talking as if you're an Ent."

My cheek rested comfortably on my hand as I rolled my eyes at her. She chuckled and continued grinding what was in her bowl. "I'm surprised you know those old legends."

"All legends have their purpose and started with some truth. Who am I to say what's real or not anymore." I murmured sullenly staring past her.

She waved her flattened tool in my face and I started suddenly. "Now who is sixty three and being purposefully arcane?" I pushed her hand away with a smile. She always managed to get one out of me no matter what mood I was in. I crossed my arms on the table and laid my head down closing my eyes.

Haleth chose that moment to become aware of my presence. "Diana?"

I turned my head in my arms and smiled. He did love playing with Diana but she was making herself useful with Daniel. "Sorry Haleth, but she's helping Daniel hunt today." It was certainly more exciting frolicking around chasing rabbits than staying inside, at least from her perspective I'm sure it was.

He seemed disappointed. "I'll bring her by tomorrow or the next day if I can alright?" Haleth looked appeased and went back to playing with his toys quietly. He was a unique child and I could only imagine the things he'd seen at such a young age.

I turned my gaze back to Aggy and watched her methodically grinding herbs. The smell floated gently to my nose and I breathed it in. Contemplating, I tried to discern the specific herbs she was using. "Mint?"

"That is an easy one. What else?"

Furrowing my brow I drew in the smell and concentrated. "Peppermint?" I cracked my left eye open and saw her smile.

"One more." Wrinkling my nose I shrugged my shoulders. "My, you are lazy today."

"Not particularly, no. I need more oats and oat straw for Déorhild. She's not sleeping again." I straightened in my chair and pondered. "Maybe some red raspberry leaf as well? She's far enough along, what do you think?"

Aggy scooped the contents of her bowl into another container and sealed it. "I would agree." Watching Aggy was calming. She had a soothing and predictable rhythm to her moments. "Now, shall you tell me what is on your mind this day?" She was also very perceptive.

Gathering the pots containing the oats, oat straw, and raspberry leaf I contemplated what to say. I glanced at Haleth still playing in the ground a little ways away and chose my words carefully. "Déorhild and her _charming _sister are not disclosing certain things in regards to Déorhild's condition. It's not put me in the best of moods and I'm a little anxious about everything enough as it is." I huffed and finished taking what I needed from the containers. Carefully I replaced the pots and continued my tirade. "I'm not sure what good I am if they won't tell me anything. I'm new at this and," my voice softened, "I'm scared. I want everything to go well for her."

I heard more than saw Aggy's hands falter for a moment. In almost slow motion I saw her bowl making it's descent towards the floor and reacted on pure instinct. My hand reached out and with virtually inhuman reflexes I caught the bowl. I blinked slowly in surprise and set the bowl back on the table.

Aggy clutched her hand to her chest. "Thank you. It slipped right through these crooked fingers of mine."

Taking my thoughts away from my miraculous save I turned to her. "You never slip Aggy." I hardened my gaze and speculated coming to a realization. "You know something and you're not telling me." I felt a tightness grow in my chest. "What aren't you telling me?"

She sighed and her posture turned defeated. "It is not my place."

Suddenly, I felt inexplicably hurt with the knowledge that she had been purposely keeping vital information from me. And about my patient no less! Wasn't there supposed to be some form of collaboration between health professionals? Well she was kind of a health professional, with herbs and stuff. Damn this place and their weird rules and taboo topics.

An earnest throbbing began behind my eyes and my vision lost some of its focus for a moment. "The he-" I glanced at Haleth whose attention had turned to us at my raised voice. "The heck it isn't!" I corrected. "I don't' understand why I'm even bothering. If you know what's going on why aren't you the one looking after her?" Okay Brennan, take slow calming breathes. I was unusually quick to anger these days and it was problematic at times. I despised not being in control.

Aggy's face contorted in distress and she wrung her knotted fingers. "I did before." Her voice was soft and bereaved.

My eyes widened and I made the connections. "You delivered for Déorhild before." She nodded. Based on her reaction and the fact that I knew Déorhild to have no other children…the birth had not gone well. My anger towards Aggy dissipated and redirected at Gléowyn and Déorhild. Mostly Gléowyn as I had a feeling she was the one who was intentionally keeping me in the dark.

I gathered the things I had come for and decided that lessens with Aggy could wait another day. Gléowyn and I were going to have a little chat when I got home. "I'm going to have to speak with them. I promise not to say anything about you, but I can't say they won't make the connection." She nodded her head sadly and I felt a twinge of reproach for making this generous woman feel contrite. "I'll come back later. I'm not upset with you. Really, I just need to cool down for a bit." Thankfully she was attuned to my odd expressions and understood my meaning. Leaving would give me some time to calm down. Maybe I could take one of the neighbors' horses for a run if I promised to clean up the stalls. Anything repetitive would be beneficial in easing my headache and calming my nerves. As much as I detested Gléowyn at times, I didn't want to go rushing in and accuse her. Not because of any amiable feelings towards her, but I was fond of the rest of her family. And I didn't especially want to get kicked out of their home.

Before I turned to leave Aggy rested a hand on my arm and held out a small pouch. Blinking I accepted the package. "What's this?"

"Feverfew, for you headaches."

I smiled gratefully. "Thanks, I'll make good use of it." Hesitating briefly I put my hand on her shoulder. "I don't know what happened, but I'm sure it wasn't your fault." Aggy's lips pursed into a grim line and her eyes watered but she managed a shaky nod.

Passing Haleth I gave him another pat before I walked out the door. Absently, my hand went to touch my necklace. It was a nervous habit that I developed over the years when I was upset. When I touched the bare skin of my chest I sighed unhappily. Somehow I had lost it prior to coming here. It was one of the few memorabilia I had from home, specifically from my mother. It upset me greatly to have lost it. My mother had worn the fleur de lis necklace every day since I could remember and now it was lost forever.

* * *

By the time I reached home, or more appropriately the home of Déorhild and her extended family, a few hours had passed and I was no longer angry. There was plenty of open land where we were and it was easy to find a place to retreat for a while. I decided not go to go riding, but I did muck out the neighbors stalls. They were a little surprised at my sudden assistance but appreciated it nonetheless. They were on the outskirts of the village, bordering the lines of the meager village. When I left an hour later they had reminded me to stay alert on my way home. The husband had offered to give me a ride home on horseback as it was a solid 15 minute walk back to Déorhild and her husband's home. I declined politely after ensuring them that I would be perfectly safe and it wasn't an hour from sunset. They hesitantly agreed without much fuss. I think I had a small reputation, other than being known for my eccentricities.

The only problem was that it wasn't safe, or so everyone kept telling me. My pistol was always a secure presence, but the reality of the danger hadn't really set in yet. The orcs in the woods nearly three weeks ago seemed like a dream. I knew it had happened, but part of my mind had set it aside and chose not to remember it. In graduate school we studied neuroscience and the brain in excruciating detail. The human mind was till much a mystery on a large scale but as a therapist we had to understand certain aspects of psychology. Perhaps I had disconnected from a painful experience to ease my suffering? I didn't know the man and woman who had been savagely torn to pieces, nor did I fully comprehend the truth of the orcs I had shot. You would think that living in "Little House on the Prairie" would have made everything real, but I was used to the realism of my dreams and imagination. Sooner or later I would wake up and face reality. I had to. Soon we would leave for Edoras and Rivendell. Everything seemed to come full circle back to Déorhild and her baby.

I could not wait to get back and make a cup of tea with the feverfew Aggy had given me. Sometimes the herb upset my stomach and Aggy had warned me to use it only as necessary. Even natural and seemingly harmless blossoms could induce dependency and other consequences it seemed. I snorted and rolled my eyes. I supposed that if cocaine and heroine weren't harnessed as of yet, users needed to get there fix somewhere. Lord knew there were too many cannabis plant variations to count in Middle-Earth. I could already name five different classifications and identify three. Oh, the things I never thought I would find myself learning.

Finally reaching my destination I passed through the door quietly and walked to the kitchen. I paused seeing Déorhild at the kitchen table quietly preparing supper for the evening. She was humming a melody I had never heard before but it was soothing and it brought a smile to my face. Déorhild was a benevolent soul who prided herself in caring for others. My heart constricted in concern for her. There was no doubt now that this was not her first pregnancy. Part of me didn't want to know what had happened, and I was afraid to learn the fate of the babe. I was worried about what I didn't know and about what I did. A prior difficult pregnancy or traumatic birth would have been a significant risk factor back home and she would have been monitored carefully during her current pregnancy. I had so much knowledge holed up in my head and so little I could do with it. It really sucked.

Déorhild stopped humming. "Oh, you startled me."

"Sorry," I said not meaning to startle her. "Can I help? Where's the munchkin? I distinctly recall telling her to be your personal gofer today."

She shook her head and laughed. "I will never understand your odd phrases no matter how you try to explain them." Her laugh was light and beautiful. I think she would have been the nice popular cheerleader in high school. Her sister would have definitely been the bitchy one.

I shrugged helplessly. "What can I say? I'm a traveler. I've seen all done all." That was especially true now. Maybe I could still complete my 30 by 30 list after all. I could count this little adventure as #11, travel out of country (other than Canada).

"Indeed. You're adventures are truly unique. I do enjoy your renditions."

"You mean Daniel's." I gently procured the knife she was using and took over the chopping and mincing. She smiled gratefully and sat down and began peeling potatoes. "He embellishes just about everything." I shook my head reflecting on how much he really enjoyed twisting our lives and testing the boundaries between believable and unbelievable. To say he was liked by the general community was an understatement.

Déorhild nodded. "Yes, but he is a talented weaver of tales. And the children listen to every word."

I paused in mid chop for a moment. "Ya, they do."

"And they enjoy learning from you as well." Déorhild gave me a pointed look and I blushed not realizing I had been so transparent.

"I've brought you more wood Aunt!" Heruwyn entered precariously hauling an armful on chopped fire wood through the door. "Father says to just ask if you need more."

"Thank you, Heruwyn that is most kind. I believe that shall be plenty for now."

"I was wondering if you were following orders, munchkin."

Heruwyn stuck her tongue at me and huffed. "I am doing as you've said. Haven't I Aunt?"

Déorhild pursed her lips trying to contain her laughter and maintain a serious countenance. "Exceptionally." We shared an amused look.

"Brennan," Heruwyn turned to address me shyly. "Will you do the cup song this evening?" Déorhild gave her a pointed look and she added, "please?"

Bemusedly I agreed. "Sure." She mumbled something but I couldn't make it out. "I didn't get that?"

Heruwyn inhaled and in one continuous breath said, "ItoldtheothersthatIcouldteachthem."

I blinked and shook my head. "Yep, I didn't get that either."

Her lips pursed and she crossed her arms. "I told the others that I could teach them since you taught me how."

Oh, now I could see the problem. She had boasted to the other children about something she couldn't actually do. I hadn't actually taught the song to her. Oh kids, they were the same everywhere. I decided to concede since there wasn't any harm in it. Heruwyn clapped her hands excitedly and thanked me profusely. I waved her off, trying not to make a big deal of it.

With renewed energy she turned happily to Déorhild. "What might I do now?"

Déorhild teasingly regarded her and contemplated with upmost seriousness. "Water. Yes, I am in great need for you to fetch some water."

"I will be right back! Keep resting!" Heruwyn ran out the door in a hurry and managed to trip over her herself before racing off again.

Déorhild and I could not contain our laughter at her antics. Once we composed ourselves I decided to take a minor risk. "Déorhild," I started.

"Hm?"

I kept chopping carrots and potatoes attempting to be casual. "You know you can confide in me right? Not just as your healer, but as a friend. If there's anything you every need to talk about, and I won't tell anyone, I promise." Oh Gods, I was rambling. "Not that you're purposely hiding things, but sometimes it's nice to, to just-talk." I finished lamely and deflated cursing under my breath.

She stalled in her peeling and resumed a moment later. I was trying not to look at her directly, but I could see her face contort in my peripheral. "Yes, of course."

Wow, this conversation had turned incredibly awkward. Déorhild was obviously hiding something and she didn't want to speak with me about it. I was the worst kind of person right now. Here I was trying to coerce and force her into what was obviously a sensitive topic. How could I be upset with her for not being honest when I was the one that was lying to everyone and keeping secrets? Everything I had been telling these people was some form of lie. Déorhild and her family had been nothing but kind from the very beginning. Her and her husband sheltered and fed me in exchange for doing chores and managing her health. They were relying on me and here I was trying to squeeze information from a pregnant woman. Gods, I was the worst kind of hypocrite.

"And I hope you know that you may also do the same." Déorhild interrupted my inner diatribe. Now it was my turn to process that information. Realizing that that I had a confidant if I needed was overwhelming and also suspicious in the way she said it. There were times where I had wondered if Déorhild knew more about Daniel and me than she let on. She had never pressed for more information on us than Daniel and I had been willing to divulge. Usually it wasn't even her asking the questions. We couldn't stay here forever, though. I reminded myself that none of this would matter in a few months. A few months from now, Déorhild would deliver her baby and Daniel and I would move on and find our way home.

However, it was nice to know that someone was willing to listen and share my burdens. "Thanks Déorhild." We smiled at each other and continued with dinner preparations. I might need a confidant sooner rather than later.

* * *

"You mean that river we were near before has a name?" Dinner conversation was always interesting to say the least.

I chewed my food thoughtfully and Éoman nodded conversationally. "Yes, it is called Snowbourn."

That sounded familiar. I swallowed my food and contemplated. Déorhild was a good cook, but I admit not taking to the food. However, I would eat just about anything these days. I didn't have the opportunity to be picky. "By chance, would it happen to serve as a boundary of some sort?"

"It does. It separates Rohan's Eastfold and West Emnet."

"So, this area is called what exactly? Forgive me but we haven't travelled much through Rohan as you know."

"The greater area is known as the Eastfold of Rohan," Baldred, Déorhild's husband interjected.

"So you would be known as Baldred of Snowbourn, hailing from the Eastfold of Rohan." I said dramatically waving my utensil in the air. The dinner table erupted in various forms of laughter.

"That I would. Baldred, son of the almighty Morton."

Déorhild laughed. "Your father, may the Valar rest his soul, was hardly a warrior my dear husband."

Baldred laughed along with his wife. "That is true. He was entirely too into his drink for such things."

"Morton?" Morton just didn't sound like a native Rohirrim name.

"Aye, my father was originally from a little place called Bree, quit far off."

"Yes, I've, uh heard of it actually."

"Really? That is surprising. Very few have as it is quite a distance."

"Yes, very surprising." Gléowyn interrupted across from me. I groaned internally hoping she wouldn't ruin what was turning out to be a pleasant evening so far.

Diana moved under the table near my feet to Daniel's. Damn canine still was avoiding me for some reason. When I saw Daniel's hand reach under the table I knew why. "Daniel, seriously. Would you please stop feeding Diana from the table?"

Daniel looked up guiltily after dropping a piece of meat into Diana's waiting mouth. "She likes it, and she was a big help today in catching dinner so I think she deserves a bit of the reward."

I sighed shaking my head knowing anything I said was falling on deaf ears. "Yes, but my sister prepared it and you should be grateful you are sitting with us. You do not work for your meals here, Daniel son of Robert." Gléowyn eyed him disapprovingly. She had taken to speaking to my brother as if he were a young wayward child. However, there was very little I could do as I was relying on their hospitality. And Gléowyn spoke to nearly everyone besides her family in a bitchy tone. It irked me fiercely; Daniel was my brother, and no one spoke down to him but me.

"Why are you dining with us this evening? Have you no better place to be? Has your presence already become tiresome even to an elderly couple?"

That was by no means ok. I went to retort but Daniel beat me to it. "I'm sorry next time I'll just keep all the game for myself yeah?"

"My husband was with you. Do not act like your ventures were all your own."

"Sorry, I didn't catch that, would you mind repeating that?" Daniel you little piece of shit. He knew better than to goad her.

Gléowyn glared at him and opened her mouth in retort when her husband laid his hand upon her shoulder. Éoman smiled good naturally at Daniel. "We tracked the buck together, Diana included. But it was Daniel's arrow that made the killing blow." Gléowyn bristled and turned her angry eyes on me. No doubt I would face her wrath and receive an earful after dinner.

Éored had been steadily eating his meal paying no attention to the proceedings. He was the type of man to feel less inclined with getting involved in what he deemed meaningless chatter and bickering. I can't say that I blamed him. In fact, most everyone purposely didn't seek him out.

Déorhild glanced nervously from Gléowyn to Daniel besides her husband. "It's really no trouble. It pleases me to have Brennan's brother join us, right husband?"

Baldred smiled at his wife and nodded. "So long as he provides the game. I know my arrow would not have proven an easy time to clean." He smiled laughing at himself and the tension around the table eased. Baldred was almost what you would describe as a handsome man, if not for his yellowed and crooked teeth. He was hardly to blame for that of course. Most of the people here were in dire need of dental care. Indoor plumbing and a hot shower would also have been most welcome, along with proper medical care. People who fantasized about living in such historic times romanticized everyday life into ideas of noble princes and daring princess. Alas, days were not filled with adventures and fighting mythical creatures. Instead the true battle lay with famine, and disease. If the orcs didn't get to you first that is.

No matter how I tried to occupy my thoughts my mind always found something to dwell on. I was getting tired of my morose thoughts. It was getting late and it had been an emotional day. The feverfew had helped ease my headache, but I would benefit from a sound sleep.

"Heruwyn, why don't you bring me a cup and I'll show you the song?" Heruwyn who had been watching the proceedings raptly, nodded.

As she handed me a non-decorative water cup my brother groaned besides me. "Are you seriously going to do that stupid song again?"

"What's wrong with it? Heruwyn likes it, don't you?" She nodded and smiled at my brother teasingly. "It's like my signature party trick."

He dropped his head in his hands. "Exactly, and you always do it everywhere you go." I giggled pleased that I had annoyed him so thoroughly.

"What is a party trick?" Déorhild asked curiously.

Fully grinning I waved the cup in the air. "It's something you do at social gathering to impress people."

"It's a useless trick that is only amusing to idiots and people who are totally shwasted."

"You have no appreciation for my talents dear brother."

"Oh for the love of, just get it over with."

"Well actually," I winked at Heruwyn sitting next to me, "I promised that I'd teach her and it might take a few times."

"Alright then, that's my cue. Good night everyone and thanks for dinner." Daniel pushed back from his chair and waved as we laughed at his back. Diana followed him out the door wagging her tail.

"All right," I began turning my attention back to Heruwyn. "I'll do it once and then we'll go through it together."

I began the first movements with the cup and let the motions and sound blend into a captivating rhythm. The repetitive movements had been difficult for me to learn and took much practice and You Tube watching. As my hands moved the cup I frowned. The motions were smoother and more rhythmical when I had first showed Heruwyn over a week ago. It was effortless, and it never had been before. After a moment, I began to sing.

"_I've got my ticket for the long way 'round_

_Two bottle whiskey for the way_

_And I sure would like some sweet company_

_And I'm leaving tomorrow. What d'you say?"_

"_When I'm gone, when I'm gone_

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

_You're gonna miss me by my hair_

_You're gonna miss me everywhere oh_

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone"_

I sang through the entire melody times and set the cup down giving a slight bow. Heruwyn clapped enthusiastically along with a few of the others.

"Now, my young apprentice let us begin."

Heruwyn giggled and took up her own cup to practice with.

* * *

An hour later saw Gléowyn and I gathered in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner. I had all but ordered Déorhild to bed when she had started to clear the table. She hesitated, but complied easily enough. She could not deny the fatigue set in her shoulders and eyes. While the others drifted off and bid us good evening one by one, I observed Gléowyn.

She was calm and posed per usual. There were so few moments in which we were alone together, mostly because we chose it be as such. I considered leaving the subject alone for a few days, but in this instance I didn't think it would help to wait. The issue wasn't going to resolve itself, and either way it was going to be difficult.

Clearing my throat I set another dry dish in the cupboard. "Gléowyn, I was wondering if I might speak with you about Déorhild."

Her shoulders stiffened. "What about her?"

I sighed; this was not going to be easy. I might as well just come out and say it. "I know you're both keeping something from me."

She raised a brow. "Exactly what do you think we're hiding?"

"Listen, I can't help Déorhild if I don't know what's going on. By keeping things from me, you're putting her life at risk."

"We are doing no such thing!" She stood tall and raised her voice a level. "You'll do well to remember that we've been generous having you-"

"Oh for Gods sake, I know she was pregnant before!" That came out much louder than intended and I winced.

I lowered my voice and tried to sound less accusing after noticing her stony expression. "I know she was pregnant, but I don't know what happened. Please, it's important."

"Or what?" She spat angrily.

"I understand this is difficult, but if you'd just-"

"You understand nothing!" Gléowyn nearly yelled. "You have never been a wife, a mother. You have no Mother yourself. How could you possibly understand the grief of losing a child that you've carried in your womb for months on end?" I stilled looking at her flushed countenance in astonishment. "Yes, my sister was pregnant before. The birth was terrible and we almost lost her as well." She choked on a sob but continued, "And we lost the child."

I bit my lip feeling awful but needing to know more. "How did-"

"She delivered early. And she was so happy; it looked like she was going to have a healthy baby this time. She miscarried twice before, as you call it. But this time she was almost as far along as she is now. The babe was born not breathing. We tried, but it wouldn't-it just wouldn't start breathing."

I sucked in a breath, the baby had been stillborn and Déorhild had suffered multiple miscarriages.

Gléowyn covered her mouth and closed her eyes against her tears. "He was so small. We buried the babe under a tree together and never spoke of it again." My eyes filled with tears and I bit my lip.

"I tried for months trying to help her afterwards, but in the end she insisted that I leave. And I did. It pained me to leave her but I did as she asked. Some part of her blamed me and I blame myself still. But it is really that wretched Aggy's fault. She gave her that feverfew, or whatever it was, for her headaches. I'm sure that must have been the cause." She lost herself in her thoughts for a moment. "I should never have listened to her. She told us that Déorhild would never again be able to bear children, and I believed her." Her gaze drifted and she stared into a memory. "So many things I should not have listened to her about. There was so much blood; I've never seen such a terrible sight."

Snapping out of her thoughts she turned back to me. "So I left. But once I heard that she was with child again I had to come back, and bring someone who would help. If it weren't for those foul orcs that attacked us…"

We stood still our gazes locked. Her eyes challenged me, but I couldn't look away. I didn't know what to say in the face of such sorrow and anger. I had been a fool to force such an issue. For once, her disdain towards me was completely warranted.

"I'm sorry" I tried. Even to my ears it sounded pathetic.

"Your words mean nothing. I hope you are pleased now that you know. If you mention this to anyone and upset my sister I will cast you out, despite our need of your services."

I nodded numbly as she left. I stood for a moment not knowing what to do. Blinking I realized the dishes still needed to be put away. Silently, I put each dish and utensil in its place telling myself what a heartless bitch I was over and over again. That night I dreamt of terrible nonsensical things before I awoke into a nightmare.

* * *

"Brennan, Brennan! You must wake up!"

I awoke abruptly to Heruwyn bawling in my ear in hysterics. Startled, my heart began a pounding staccato from its steady lull of sleep a moment ago. "What's going on?"

"Quickly, you have to hurry, just come! It's my aunt!"

Instantly awake I flung off the worn blanket and grabbed her shoulders roughly. "Calm down, what's wrong with Déorhild?"

Heruwyn's eyes were swollen red and filled with tears. Snot ran from her nose unheeded. She was wearing her dressing gown and dirt covered her bare feet. Unintelligible words poured from her mouth but I couldn't decipher them. I shook her once lightly and then again harder to get her attention. "Focus Heruwyn." I grabbed her face between my hands and peered into her eyes.

"My-she's-the baby is coming now!"

My eyes widened in pure terror. I flung myself from my cot all thoughts directed at Déorhild. In the back of my mind I cursed myself ever having thought about Déorhild's delivery interrupting my plans. How could I have thought such selfish things! She was only seven months pregnant; she couldn't be having her baby prematurely. What was I going to do? Barefoot and nearly naked I ran from my place in the barn out back and made my way to the main house. Behind me I could hear Heruwyn's sobbing following me.

* * *

"Beware of what you wish for."

~ Mrs. Day

"Cups"

~ Song from "Pitch Perfect" performed by Anna Kendrick

* * *

AN: Feverfew is contraindicated in pregnancy and can lead to dependency if abused. **Please** READ and REVIEW. I see you people out there, just click the button. You can drop by and tell me how much I suck for all I care! Ok, well I would appreciate something more constructive but I'll take what I can get for now. I know things are a little slow in the story at this point but I'm trying to set the tone for the later craziness that occurs. It will pick up in another chapter or so trust me. This is going to be a long adventure. At minimum of 30 chapters.

Next chapter: In which Déorhild gives birth.


	6. The Birth

Disclaimer: I do not own J.R.R. Tolkien's LOTR etc.

**Bold is for flashbacks**

_Italics is for song_

AN: Warning, there is descriptive detail involving childbirth ahead. And lots of angst.

* * *

The Birth

* * *

"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first and the lesson afterward."

-Vernon Law

* * *

My feet pounded on the ground as my breath came in heady puffs. As I raced through the house and drew closer to Déorhild's room I could hear terror filled cries. I flew past Éoman and Éored standing outside and burst through the door unceremoniously.

Déorhild lay in the middle of her bed sobbing with Baldred sitting helplessly besides her. His face was of complete fear. Déorhild's face was pallid and covered in sweat. She lay upon the sheets with her dressing gown pulled up her thighs and her legs drawn up on either side of her hips. But what caught my attention was the blood; blood and amniotic fluid pooled between her legs. I couldn't help but stare in shock; I had never seen so much blood before. Suddenly, I felt very afraid and helpless.

A whimper snapped me from my stupor. Swinging down I grabbed both of Heruwyn's shoulders and got her attention. "Heruwyn, I need you to be strong now. I need your help, do you understand?"

She nodded shakily. "Good. Listen carefully. Boil as much water as you can. Grab the sharpest knife you can and boil that for at least 15 minutes. I need clean linens. As much as you can find. And soap. Go, and hurry."

"O-okay." She rushed from the room and I turned my attention back to the chaos behind me.

Gléowyn was clutching her sister's hand desperately and turned her attention to me the instant Heruwyn left. I rushed to the bed and moved some of the fluid soaked sheets aside and lifted Déorhild's gown. She was bleeding profusely and her skin was torn and swollen. She was in the early stages of labor and only partially dilated.

"What happened?" I turned to Gléowyn and she turned to me with glazed eyes.

"Gléowyn!" I yelled.

Her eyes focused and she renewed her grip on her sister's hand. "She was having pains and she started bleeding. We didn't think-I didn't know, it hadn't happened like this before and I had similar things happen with Heruwyn. And I-" She started sobbing. "I thought it was nothing!"

"What pains? When exactly did this start?" How could they keep this from me?

"It's been going on throughout the day." Why, why, _why_?

"Shit, I can't believe this." Why didn't they tell me?

Déorhild rose from the bed on shaking elbows. "Is my baby alright? Will he be alright?"

Oh Gods, how was I going to do this? "Shh, you're going to be just fine, you and the baby."

"I'm sorry, so sorry I did not say-" Tears began tricking unheeded down her pale cheeks.

At her sob I nearly broke down myself and cried along with her. Instead I smiled as reassuringly as I could and tried to ease her fears. "It doesn't matter now, forget about it. Let's focus on you and bringing your child into the world."

Swallowing I continued. "We've talked and practiced; now it's time for the real thing. Remember the breathing techniques and all of the things I told you would happen. It's all the same; it's just going to happen a little sooner than we anticipated."

The color left her face completely. "Oh Gods." She heaved and I rushed to get a bowl from one of the dressers. Her head turned slightly to the side and just as I shoved the bowl under her face she retched. My movements were jerky and hurried and vomit splashed on my face. The smell almost made me revisit dinner.

Déorhild sagged into the bed exhausted and turned her head towards Gléowyn who smoothed her sweaty hair away from her face. Setting the bowl aside I wiped my face with the back of my sleeve trying not to breathe through my nose. Baldred was swallowing nervously and looked like he might throw up next.

"Don't you dare get sick in here" I pointed my finger at him. "You either be useful or get out. But absolutely no fainting or getting sick."

He nodded taking shallow breathes. Heruwyn returned with the materials and handed me a cloth to wipe my face with. I took a hair tie from her as well and tied my hair back and had Gléowyn do the same for Déorhild. Not long after she started shaking and her teeth chattered.

Baldred started rubbing her arms in a soothing manner and kissed her sweaty brow. "Are you cold?"

Déorhild shook her head. "Not really."

"Her bodies going through a lot right now, it happens" I told them.

Traditionally, the men weren't present when the women gave birth, at least from what I was told. I suppose in emergencies exceptions were made.

"Everybody wash your hands, I know the waters hot but do it anyway."

Gléowyn looked at me curiously. "Why would that matter?"

I groaned internally shaking my head at the sick hilarity of the circumstance. How did I land myself in a world where the concept of spreading disease and infection was almost non-existent? "It helps limit the spread of infection during delivery." She acquiesced but still regarded me skeptically. After washing our hands Gléowyn helped remove the sheets soiled with blood, amniotic fluid and feces.

Déorhild had calmed for the moment and her bleeding had all but stopped. She lay exhausted against her husband while Gléowyn whispered soothing words in her ear. "Everything will be just fine. Soon you will be a Mother and have a little one of your own. And then you will have no time for yourself anymore and you will spend your days running after them." Déorhild laughed weakly and rested against Baldred's chest.

"Heruwyn," I addressed her softly. She appeared fine so far, if a little shaken.

"Yes?" Very brave as well, an admirable trait, most definitely a Gryffindor.

I gestured to my clothes and grinned. "My dear assistant, would you mind retrieving me something a bit more appropriate to wear for the occasion?" Heruwyn giggled and nodded. Corny but effective. Anything to ease the tense atmosphere.

With Heruwyn gone I broached the next topic. "Déorhild, would you mind if I asked Aggy to be with us for the birth?"

Her eyes widened and Gléowyn looked horribly affronted. If looks could kill, maim or torture, I'm sure all three would have applied in this instance. "Absolutely not! How could you even suggest such a thing?"

As calmly and civil as possible I replied, "I understand your concerns, but this is Déorhild's decision. She is the one giving birth, and in this room at this time what she needs and wants is my top priority." Catching Déorhild's eyes I searched them. "It would help me a great deal if she was here Déorhild."

She looked at her sister's flustered countenance and then her husband. "Déorhild, this is about you right now. Not anyone else."

"No," she whispered her eyes downcast. "I don't want her here, I'm sorry."

I sucked in an angry breath but nodded anyway. There would be no persuading her, especially with her sister in the room. My last avenue for assistance and I was completely blocked off. I really wanted Aggy here with me; he had done this before. This wasn't what I had been trained to do and now there were complications. Any number of things could go wrong. Couldn't they understand that? For once in my life I wanted someone to comfort me for a change and say things were going to be okay.

"Alright then, we need to wait a little longer before you start pushing. Right now just keep breathing and save your energy."

"We're not going to walk?"

How was I supposed to explain that I had no idea if walking was good at this point? She had only stopped bleeding and I didn't want to risk hemorrhaging. "Um, well not right now. Maybe later if we need to, but since you're a little early I don't want to put too much stress on the baby, or you for that matter." She nodded. Thank Gods I dodged that bullet. I wondered how long before they finally understood what I had said from the start, I had never been a midwife.

"Get comfortable, it's going to be a while."

"Nonsense, Heruwyn was born in a few hours' time."

"The experience is different for everyone Gléowyn" I said tersely.

"How long?" Déorhild asked.

"It's hard to say, it varies. A few hours, a day. Probably sooner rather than later." I shrugged.

"An entire day?" Baldred's eyes widened and I felt so sorry for him; he looked undoubtedly out of place.

A few hours later and Déorhild's contractions were occurring closer together and gaining in intensity.

"It hurts so much!" Déorhild gasped. Baldred looked down at his wife in concern.

"Can't she start pushing?"

I looked at Gléowyn and bit my lip. "She's not fully dilated, maybe half way there."

Déorhild wailed particularly loud and I felt like screaming myself as I saw blood trickle from between her legs. She dilated further and I peered between her legs and tried feeling for the baby's head. Only I didn't feel a head I felt an appendage. Oh, gods, the baby was breeching.

"Ok, change of plans."

Déorhild looked startled. "What is it?"

"The baby's decided he wants to be born now and he's breeching."

"What does that even mean?" Yelled Baldred. "My wife is in pain!"

"It means the baby is coming feet first, not good." I nearly yelled back and looked at Déorhild. "I'm going to try and move the baby by putting some pressure on your stomach." Déorhild nodded painfully and I pressed on her stomach feeling for the baby. After a few attempts followed by painful whimpers from Déorhild, the baby still wasn't rotated fully. The baby was partially rotated, but still not in the correct cephalic position. Maybe I could do this internally… Swearing under my breath I reached in hoping to turn the baby without doing something harmful like get the infant tangled with the damn umbilical cord.

It was difficult to get any sort of grip. _Amniotic fluid, blood, and bodily fluids._ My mind whispered. In any other situation I would have been thoroughly disgusted. A few more attempts and the baby was rotated as much as I was able to do. "Good enough."

"Good enough, what are you even speaking about?" Gléowyn huffed. "Did you fix it or not?"

"She's fine, and I think the baby's starting to crown."

"Crown?"

"Oh for the love of, she's ready to deliver the baby!"

"But I thought you said she wasn't ready!"

"I can't really tell the baby to 'stop please 'cause we aren't ready now yet' now can I?" I growled at her.

"Well, someone better tell me what to do!" We all blinked amazed at Déorhild's uncharacteristic livid shriek.

Dazed I made a twirling motion with my hand and swallowed. "Can you-um turn around?" They looked at me like I was stupid and I cleared my throat. "On your hands and knees. It's a better position for the baby to be born in and easier to deliver."

Gléowyn huffed, Déorhild sputtered and Baldred stared agape. I rolled my eyes and helped Déorhild get into quadruped. Gléowyn and Baldred supported her upright on either side while she pushed. "You're doing great Déorhild. And again, push!" The room filled with her screams and her arms threatened to buckle beneath her if not for her husband and sister holding her up.

"And again, push!"

"I can't do it any more, it hurts!"

"Déorhild, you need to keep pushing. Don't give up now." Every part of her body was trembling and covered in sweat. Her face was covered in tears and snot and in this instant she never looked so fragile.

"Come on little sister, you can do this." Gléowyn cried with Baldred whispering words of comfort from her other side.

The baby's head was halfway out and with another push from Déorhild, the nose could be seen. Blood dripped steadily on the blankets beneath her and suddenly she collapsed onto her elbows and cried miserably. "You have to keep pushing, now more than ever."

"I can't" she whimpered. "I can't, please."

The baby couldn't stay in this position for long without suffering for it. She wasn't dilated fully and the skin was tearing painfully. I was going to have to make an incision along the perineum. "Heruwyn, give me the knife right now!" I took the knife from her shaking hands and positioned myself under Déorhild.

"What are you doing!" Baldred shouted seeing me hold the knife near his wife and child.

"I've got to make a small cut so the baby can pass easier. Déorhild, you're going to feel a sting, but try to be as still as you can. Hold her down, both of you, don't let her move."

I moved my finger to make room for the incision and pressed as carefully as I could along the swollen and already torn skin. I almost stopped when I heard Déorhild's cry, but I continued on until the incision was made. I could scarcely breathe and tears were streaming down my face, but I couldn't wipe them away. I practically threw the knife aside to grab the baby more securely.

"Please Déorhild, you have to push" I begged.

She tossed her head on her forearms whimpering pitifully. "Damnit it, if you don't fucking start pushing right now your baby is going to die! So you better push right now!" She tried rising higher on to her arms and with a yell she gave a weak push and more of the baby's head became visible.

"That's it, again, harder this time!" I wondered what Éored and Éomer thought was going on inside this room. It sounded like sheer murder. I took a tentative grasp on the shoulders when they became visible. With a final scream Déorhild boar down and I was able to pull the baby the rest of the way out of the birth canal. The bed was soaked in blood and fluids. The room filled with the baby's screams and Déorhild collapsed onto the bed fully exhausted.

It was a little girl. Heruwyn gave me a cloth and I cleaned the baby making sure to clear her nose and wipe her face. I wrapped her partially in a blanket peered at her scrunched up pink face and thought she was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. The infant was small beyond belief but she was alive and breathing. At just shy of eight months, despite the odds this little girl had survived. Déorhild turned and lay on her back with her face turned to the side and panting in desperate gulping breathes.

"Congratulations" I beamed at them sniffling. "It's a girl." I picked up the knife and held it out to Baldred. "Would the father like to do the honors of cutting the umbilical cord?"

Hesitating briefly he took the knife and I showed him where to make the cut.

* * *

I felt the earth beneath my feet and the gentle breeze in air. My throat was tight and my chest painfully constricted. I didn't know how long I had been walking, my sense of time had stopped… had stopped the moment Déorhild…Stop it. Don't think about it, just keep moving. One foot in front of the other, just keep moving.

"**You killed her! It's your fault!"**

_Just about the time your heart breaks like a wheel  
Not in a straight line, but all in pieces  
Some you'll leave behind on a road you won't revise  
No, you won't revisit that dirty compromise_

"**You let her die!"**

My sense of time may have been forgotten, but my feet knew where they were going. They were taking me to the stream I had frequented time and again. No matter what, it was hard not to think about the last few hours. I wiped my nose across the back of my bloodied hand. The smell nearly made me gag, good thing I had emptied my stomach an hour before.

I couldn't forget. Why couldn't I forget? Please, Gods just let me forget.

_Now you only dream in peaceful blue  
The morning doesn't even scare you anymore  
You are a phoenix with your feathers still a little wet  
Baby, the ashes just look pretty on your eyes_

**"Why has she not stopped bleeding?"**

I remembered the way Gléowyn's worried eyes looked into mine.

"**Baldred, where are you? Why can't I see you?"**

Déorhild's shaking ice cold fingers grasping the hands of her husband. Baldreds pleading eyes asking me what was wrong with his wife, with his daughter…

_So look up, up ahead  
The city lights are dancing for you  
Or is it the aurora burning of the edges of the sky?  
Don't cry, don't cry  
That's all over now._

Why couldn't I save her? All of the knowledge, and the years of school and I couldn't save her. Why couldn't I save her? Why?

"**Do something! She's dying!"**

I remembered pressing into her chest, feeling the desperate pressure fracture a rib. Her cold lips on mine as I forced air into her lungs.

"**Get away from her. I hate you!"**

_Now you only dream in peaceful blue  
The morning doesn't even scare you anymore  
You are a phoenix with your feathers still a little wet  
Baby, the ashes just look pretty on your eyes_

My feet were wet. I looked down. Oh, I was standing in the stream. When had I reached the stream?

"**Is something wrong with my daughter?" **The infant in my arms didn't startle.

I fell to the ground sitting in the stream. My eyes blinked unseeing out into the darkness. Even in the beginnings of summer it still felt cold outside. The water was still beneath me and my legs started to go numb. It made me think of Arizona summers. The summers were so hot you could taste the heat on your tongue and see the sweat glisten on your skin.

"**You killed her! It's your fault she's dead!"**

_Dry your wings in the sun  
You have only begun to understand  
When it's time to move on there is no one  
To hold your hand.  
So let go, let go, let go._

"**You killed her, it's your fault!"**

I looked down at my hands and saw the blood beneath my fingernails and panicked. Furiously, I started scrubbing the blood off of my arms, and face. At some point I began to cry, a few tears at first and then in earnest. The blood was still there on my skin and it would never come off.

"**Déorhild speak to me! Why isn't she breathing?"**

_Here the night is fine  
The stars are sparks of steel  
Chiseled in the mines of twilight  
You tell me something real, say  
"Don't try, don't try  
Just remember how, remember, remember"_

"**Brennan!" **

"**Why?"**

"Brennan!"

"**Brennan!"**

"Brennan!"

Strong hands grasped my wrists and stopped my desperate movements. I struggled and pleaded until the hands left my wrists and arms encircled me. I knew those arms. Even though my body felt frozen I could feel their warmth seeping down to my bones.

"It's okay Brennan. Shh, it's okay." Daniel whispered.

"I'm sorry," I cried in earnest. "I tried, and I couldn't. It's my fault."

"No, it isn't. Don't you ever think that!" He shoved me away from the protection of his arms and gripped my shoulders trying to peer into my eyes.

"But I let her die!" I screamed at him. He shook me roughly and my head rolled violently and I felt sick. I started blubbering and muttering nonsense until Daniel gripped my chin and waited for me to meet his eyes.

"Now you listen to me. I've spent my whole fucking life listening to your god damned lectures and now it's my turn!"

I stared wide eyed at him my mouth hanging open in shock. "Do you hear me?" He shook my chin and I nodded meekly closing my mouth. He released me and brought his arms around me again.

I felt him sigh against me. "Good." He rested his chin atop my head. Bemusedly, I realized we were both soaking wet sitting in the middle of a stream. I wanted to laugh and scream at the top of my lungs.

"Brennan, you're a real bitch sometimes."

I snorted. "Well you are," he continued. "You're nosy and all you ever do is boss me around and look at me with these judging eyes."

"This supposed to make me feel better?" I said into his shoulder.

"Perfect you're back to being a bitch."

"You suck at this."

"Didn't say I was good in the first place. But besides trying to dictate my life, you've done a good job."

"Really?" I whispered.

"You're not the best at being a Mom, but you're a pretty cool sister. I wish you spent more time doing that."

I closed my eyes letting a few more tears slip. "Sorry."

"Shit, Brennan, I'm not trying to make you apologize. I'm trying to tell you that I love you and Déorhild's death wasn't your fault!"

"How can you say that?" I leapt from his arms gesturing at myself. "I have her blood all over me Daniel. What the hell did I go to school for? I wanted to help people and instead I just killed someone."

He tried to interrupt me but I wouldn't let him. "No, Daniel I was there. Déorhild bled to death. Her heart stopped beating and I felt her die. In my arms, Daniel, she died! And I wished her dead. I wanted her to hurry up and give birth so we could be on our merry way. You're right, I am a bitch. I am a cold hearted sadistic bitch. Baldred lost his wife, Gléowyn her sister, Heruwyn her Aunt, do I need to go on? And that beautiful little girl that's just been born, she doesn't have a moro reflex."

"What does-"

I ran my hand through my mused hair. "It could mean anything. It's just not good, especially since she's premature it puts her at risk. Cerebral Palsy, Autism, hemiplegia, a number of things." I sighed. "Back home it'd be different, and it shouldn't matter, even here. But this world that we're in Daniel, there isn't any help."

His eyes were sad. "Brennan..."

"I wanna leave. We can't stay here anymore. I can't stay here. Please Daniel," I begged.

Daniel sighed and nodded "I know." He sat with his knees drawn up and his elbows resting on them. He tousled his hair and dropped his head in his hands. "Edoras, and then Rivendell?"

"Yea, maybe we can get home. Find some answers, anything."

I walked over where he sat on the ground near the stream. Diana was sitting at his side silently and I wondered if she had been there the whole time. "You still didn't kill her. They were angry and they just lost someone they loved." He paused and added, "Gléowyn's a bitch anyway." He looked over at me noticing the cut along my hair line. "Heard she threw a plate at you."

"She has good aim." I reached out and Diana let me stroke her head. "How did you know where I was?"

He idly played with a stick drawing patterns in the dirt. "Éomer told me you left and I figured you'd go here."

I nodded absently and looked at the sky. "Do you believe in God Daniel?"

"Sometimes." He threw a rock into the stream. "On good days I like to think Mom and Dad are in Heaven, or whatever."

"Me too. I'm never having children."

He turned to me. "I thought you wanted kids. You've got the whole nagging thing down really well."

I shook my head. "Not while we're here. I never want to go through that." I'm too scared now. What's the cost of one dream for your life?

"That's gonna put a damper on your sex life."

I stared at him amazed that he was cracking jokes when I was having a life crisis. "Not like that matters for you anyway. You've never had good sex."

I punched him lightly in the arm half-heartedly. He was right in that regard. I'd had two lovers and while I wasn't overly experienced I was confidant in my ability to fake an orgasm. "Asshole. Just remember who had to give you the sex talk."

He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck clearly uncomfortable. "Can we please not talk about that?"

"Anything you say little brother" I teased.

We stayed sitting next to each other for a moment before a breeze reminded us that it was evening and we were soaked. Daniel stood and walked a few steps to pick up a blanket sitting nearby only to drape it around my shoulders. "Let's get back, and we'll start packing."

"Not much to pack really. Or people to say goodbye to."

"Don't start again with the pity party. You aren't usually like this."

I haven't killed anyone before I added silently. I clutched the blanket tighter around me. "Well come on then, get your ass up."

"I wanna stay, just for a little longer, I'll be along shortly."

He looked at me like I was stupid and shook his head. So that's what he was always talking about. Being on the receiving end of such looks really was annoying.

"No way I'm leaving you alone after tonight. Also, if you haven't noticed Lady Brennan," he dead panned, "we're in fucking Middle-Earth."

"Really, I hadn't realized" I said back stoically.

"Orcs Sis, remember those?" How could I have forgotten? I'd killed a few of them, now I had one more life to add. Guess I was right, I could kill a human just as easily as an orc.

"Please Daniel, just a bit? I want to sit by myself for a moment before I have to go back. I don't want to see their faces right now."

He hesitated but nodded after a minute. "Diana, come here" he whistled. "No, Diana stay."

I smirked. "She doesn't wanna stay with me. Let her go with you."

"If you're staying here, so does she."

I rolled my eyes, "fine."

"Don't stay long, I mean it."

"Alright."

He turned to leave but paused. "Hey Brennan?'

"Yea?"

"Don't give up. I love you Sis."

I smiled feeling my heart ache just a little less. "I love you too."

I looked at the sky seeing the lightening colors feeling better knowing I had one person in the world who loved me and who I would do anything for.

_Now you only dream in peaceful blue  
The morning doesn't even scare you anymore  
You are a phoenix with your feathers still a little wet  
Baby, the ashes just look pretty on your eyes_

* * *

"Narghaash, Narghaash!"

The harsh whispers of his pack mate brought Narghaash out of his trance. He turned his attention to Sharn, Gorûrz's twin. He met piercing but irritated yellow eyes and gave a questioning look in return. Sharn rolled impatient eyes and gave him a knowing look. Sharn had been watching him observe the human female with an uncanny intensity. For some reason he had not been able to pry his eyes away from the female. He could sense, even feel her grief and her emotions as if they were his own. He clasped the necklace at his throat and inhaled, the scent was hers. After seeing her this morning he was skeptical, but now he was sure of it.

He watched her as she shed tears for the death of a woman she had tried to save. He heard her vows and her fears laid bare. He watched the male approach and speak harsh truths and then comfort her with soothing words. Narghaash saw the man wrap his arms securely around her and draw her close. They seemed close, the female and the male. His sudden desire to rip the male apart came as a surprise. He dug his clawed hands into the ground and suppressed a growl. But when Narghaash saw her collapse and cry harder still, he was almost grateful that he brought her such comfort. It was obvious that their embrace was familial and not of a passionate nature. After the male left he watched her desperately try to clean the blood from her skin once more.

For whatever reason Narghaash felt drawn to her. But what he could not figure out was why the White Wizard wanted her. What could she possibly have that he needed?

Huffing Sharn nodded towards the now alone female with intention. "We can't stay here. We need to grab the female and go. We should have taken her this morning, Narghaash." Sharn snorted. "Don't matter now, Dargum's back."

Narghaash turned, his attention completely focused now. Sharn continued, "the group's turned back."

"How long?" he growled low.

"Here by dawn."

He swore and looked up seeing the stars already disappearing and the sky turning a paler shade of blue. Looking back towards the female he knew that he couldn't waste any more time. Nodding, they ran from their hiding spot and rushed towards the female.

"What the fuck? Get away from me! Daniel, help! DANIEL!"

He grabbed her protesting form kicking and screaming and lifted her into his arms.

* * *

"The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again."

– Joseph Smith

"Ashes on Your Eyes"

~ song by The Weepies

* * *

AN: First off I am terribly unhappy with this chapter and it was really hard to write for me. Let me know what you think. Please Review!

I am not a religious woman, but I found this quote fitting. I am also not an expert on pregnancy. Brennan is nowhere near a professional midwife, but she did what she could I suppose. I have had some instruction on prenatal care and the birthing process, but it is a vast field and much of it is beyond me. This is a worst case scenario that could have had a much better outcome given the right medical screening, education, and care during pregnancy and birth. I know things seem a bit slow and Brennan's being a bit wimpy, but bear with me a bit longer. Now go read something happy.

Next Chapter: In which a battle occurs, people die and Brennan wants her jewelry back.


	7. The Desecrated Village

Disclaimer: I do not own J.R.R. Tolkien's LOTR.

"**Black Speech"**

AN: Sorry this chapter is so late. I had finals, then went camping and spent a week out-of-state visiting my bestie and celebrating her 30th. This chapter contains mature content including cursing, general killing and pillaging. Enjoy?

* * *

The Desecrated Village

"To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering."  
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

* * *

Daniel knew they wouldn't be staying long from the beginning. He traced his path back towards the elderly couple that had bestowed him with affection as they would a beloved grandchild. It was true that he had taken to this way of life better than Brennan. He was aware of the pain that his sister was going through every day while they lived in Middle-Earth. If was different for him though, he had less to lose and she had everything.

Brennan had friends and a promising career. She was smart, pretty, and could handle anything that came her way. What did he have that was worth anything back home? He had video games, virtual friends, and an ex-girlfriend that had cheated on him. Sometimes Daniel really did feel like a failure. Oh, he knew Brennan never meant to treat him like one, but he wanted so badly to make her proud and he just didn't know how. Back home he didn't have any worthwhile skills, but it was different here. Daniel never knew what it felt like to have parents; he was barely three when their parents died.

The elderly clothed, fed, and housed him. They worried for and took an interest in his thoughts and feelings. They cared about his wants, needs and desires. Coming from a source other than his sister, it was oddly pleasant. In some ways it was also relieving.

At least, he suspected they treated him as a family member. Daniel didn't really have much insight into that department, his only dealing with parents and grandparents coming from his brief run ins with his friends' families. And that wasn't too regular an occurrence. When he was younger he tried to avoid parents. He was invited over for dinner and to stay the night more times than he could count. Usually he declined; however, sometimes he stayed depending on the foster home he was in at the time. Some homes were better than others, and for the most part he was fortunate. It was difficult when his sister had been named his guardian, but also a relief. They fought all the time, but it was nice to fight, it meant she cared enough to get mad at him when he did something stupid, or when she was being neurotic. Besides, parents always looked at him with pity and he could tell they talked about the poor kids who lost their parents and had no willing relatives to take care of them. Their eyes were what bothered him most. He knew they meant well, but he just wanted to be treated like a normal kid. Nobody could see a normal kid when their guardian was an emancipated teenage girl.

Brennan was always the Mother and Sister, and it was damn hilarious when she tried to fulfill the Father role. He groaned remembering the sex talk she'd had with him when he was eight. That was the most humiliating experience for any kid, but having the talk with your teenage sister was beyond horrifying. The safe sex talk that followed when he was in junior high was even worse, if that was possible. There were some things that he didn't want his sister to know about; their respective sex lives being one of them. Unfortunately, he'd walked in on her once in bed with a boyfriend and well, there was a reason why he didn't have girls over when she was in the house. It was too embarrassing to even remember that particular incident…

Now there was something worthy of a sitcom. Actually the way things were turning out; their whole life could be some soap opera. He could picture it now…Two young children orphaned and struggling to make their way in the world. One young girl attempting to raise her rebellious younger brother only to be snatched away from the midst of their lives and dropped unceremoniously into Middle-Earth where they must face the perils or die…or something dramatic like that. Pausing in his steps he reconsidered. Ya, it had definitely turned into more of a fantasy action/adventure at this point.

What he told Brennan was true, she was a bitch. Nevertheless, she was his sister and he knew that no matter what she would do anything for him, because she loved him. He knew she did, since she was always concerned for him and telling him in a million little ways how important he was to her. He often wondered what would become of her should something happen to him, like it did to their parents? Would she be alright? For everything Brennan had, he knew most of it was superficial, or done for his sake. She was hanging by a thread in this world, and he would be a steady presence for her. It was his turn to be the strong one. He picked up his pace along the trail determined to be her anchor should she need it.

Daniel stopped suddenly mid step smelling smoke and seeing dark clouds rising in the direction he was heading. Panicking he feared the worst and ran towards the billowing clouds of smoke rising in the early dawning sky.

* * *

I screamed as the tall figures rushed from the bushes. One moment Daniel was consoling me and the next I was attacked by orcs. There were two of them; the largest one had deep reddish-brown skin and the other more of a darker green. The larger one grabbed me around my mid stomach and growled viciously as I kicked and screamed. Diana's mad barking reverberated through the area and she ran at us growling and snapping her teeth.

"Get off of me! Let me go!" I kicked the smaller orc in the gut as it neared me and it growled and clutched their stomach briefly in annoyance. "Daniel!" I tried yelling for him, but I knew it was a futile attempt at best. Daniel had indulged my pity party and left some time ago. I wish he hadn't now. The orc trapped my arms and lifted me while the other tried to grab my legs again.

They started yelling at each other but I couldn't understand them. It sounded vaguely like Black Speech, but other than knowing a few words and phrases I was out of luck.

"**Grab her legs!" **

The one behind me breathed in my ear. His nose pressed into my neck and I felt it inhale. It almost felt like he was smelling me. I recoiled as far as possible away from his face, wanting to desperately put some distance between the sharp teeth I knew all orcs possessed. Oh my Gods, were they going to eat me? I felt sick.

As I pulled away, doing my own bit of snarling I saw my Mother's necklace resting along the hollow of the monsters neck. That was my necklace! He had no business wearing it. This was the last straw. This damn place could rot in hell. I was never reading those gods be damned Tolkien books or watching any more of Peter Jackson's films. I was swearing it all off. No more cosplay, no more conventions and book signings or anything! I was going to go on the straight and narrow. No more fantasy even. No more freaking Harry Potter, or Doctor Who, nothing. I was going cold turkey and chucking it all out the fucking window. I was sick and tired of being some form of cosmic joke.

Adrenalin pumped through my veins and fueled my anger. "Give me my necklace back you ugly mother fucker!" Without any warning I lunged forward and grasped the necklace at his throat with my teeth and pulled. The chain broke and the necklace ripped from his neck. I tasted bits of skin and blood and felt the vile substance dribble down my chin.

The orc howled in clear pain and anger. I nearly broke free until it grasped me even more firmly.

"**Fucking grab her legs!" **The one holding me roared with renewed energy.

"**I'm trying! We'd be better just knocking her head in."**

"Diana!" I yelled desperately. Diana rushed to my aid and jumped the orc holding me and bit his leg fiercely. The orc grunted and winced but with one swift kick sent Diana flying through the air landing a few paces away.

"Diana!" She whimpered pitifully and struggled to rise.

Ok, my Mother's necklace was once thing, and now the bastard had hurt my dog. No one hurt my dog.

"Don't you touch my dog! You hurt my dog I'll fucking kill you, you bastard!" I felt a powerful surge of energy and saw red in my vision. I reared my head back and thrust it into the orc holding me and heard a satisfying crack and a resounding yell.

The smaller orc huffed and rushed forward and tried to grab my legs again. With a powerful thrust of my leg and core strength I threw my legs high into the air and wrapped my them around its neck. I brought the orcs neck in a choke hold wrapping it more securely in my grip by bringing it closer to my body. I trapped the orc between my thighs and started squeezing for all I was worth. The orc started gasping for breath and pulled at my legs with its claws. I winced as the sharp nails scraped against my legs and drew blood in desperation. I tried swinging my body back and forth to build momentum and finally I rocked us enough so we toppled over in one big heap.

Diana leapt upon us and bit the arm still loosely wrapped around my neck. The arms loosened and I unwrapped my legs from the other orcs neck. Knowing this was my chance I struggled to my feet trying to regain my sense of balance while the orcs were down.

Not even bothering to look back, I ran as fast as I could away from the stream, Diana fast on my heels. I spat my Mother's necklace into my hand and gazed at the broken chain and black blood covering it. The taste was foul in my mouth. I stumbled once but quickly recovered. As I forced my feet to keeping moving my only thoughts were of reaching Daniel and getting as far away from here as possible.

* * *

Narghaash slowly rose to his feet grasping his head. Sharn was gasping for breath besides him rubbing the abrasions formed by the female.

"**Fucking female. Told you we shoulda knocked her head in first thing!" **Sharn snarled angrily.

He glared back pressing his hand to the bite wound the woman had inflicted. It came away sticky with blood and he smirked. It wasn't serious, but it was an impressive bite considering human teeth were fairly blunt in comparison.

"**What are you smirkin' 'bout? We just got bested by a human female! Dargum's goin' ta knock both our heads in and the fucking wizards going to skin us and our kin."**

Narghaash growled harshly and Sharn quieted immediately.** "I'm just sayin' we better get to her before the others do."**

Narghaash snapped at Sharn angrily in a possessive gesture. Sharn raised her hands in a placating way with wide eyes.** "What's gotten into you?"**

"**Nothin'. We'll go get the female now. There's still time," **he grunted. Her eyes narrowed conspicuously and then widened in realization. Sighing Sharn shook her head in disbelief.

"**Get your cock under control. She's not for you." **Sharn stomped off the way the female had run muttering under her breath about male stupidity.

"**Easier said," **he mumbled to himself as Sharn grew farther away.

Looking down at his stiff member he growled low willing himself to calm. He hastily adjusted himself and followed after her. However, thoughts of the human woman's passionate defense and her scent remained.

* * *

As I neared the village a whole new wave of worry engulfed me. There was smoke in the air and I could see buildings consumed with flames. Ignoring the stitch burning in my side I forced more air into my lungs and practically flew the remaining distance to the village.

I came to a sudden halt avoiding a horse galloping madly past. The sudden stop threw off my momentum and I fell to the ground scraping my knees and palms against the course dirt. A second horse followed the first, and my eyes widened in disbelief. The poor creature was on fire. Diana was barking loudly and a rush of sounds and smells came to me all at once.

The smell of smoke was heavy in the air as was the putrid smell of things burning, what I could only assume was flesh. People were screaming and a man whom I had only met once or twice ran past me. I rushed to my feet and intercepted him. I had forgotten his name but I called out to him nonetheless and he did nothing but shove me back to the ground as he continued to run.

Fuck but that had _hurt_. That bastard. "You asshole!" I yelled at his retreating figure. Not that it mattered, he didn't even look back.

I really should have stayed on the ground because the moment I got to my knees someone tripped over me and we both fell in a tangle of limbs. This time the back of my head made contact with the ground. That had _really_ hurt. I would have liked a minute to see straight, but the person was already trying to scramble away so I grabbed her quickly. Dirt covered her face and she was whimpering pitifully. I recognized her as Beth, a kind woman whom was always asking after my brother.

"What's going on? What happened?" I asked trying to meet her eyes that kept darting around in panic. I shook her fiercely and repeated myself in a harsher tone.

"Oo-orcss." She sputtered.

My eyes widened. I had to find my brother. "Daniel, have you seen my brother?"

She shook her head frantically from side to side. "No, I-ah!" In a sudden motion her blood splattered my face and she collapsed towards me. Shaking in astonishment, I moved Beth to the side and saw a crude arrow piercing her back. In sudden nausea I dry heaved violently until I managed to find something to throw up along with a fair amount of bile.

Beth slid from lap and my nails dug at the ground. I sat up wiping my mouth and moving away from Diana's wet nose. A sudden and horrifying roar sounded in the distance and my eyes immediately spotted two orcs run down a man and slice his stomach wide open with ease. The man howled in agony and clutched his intestines futilely.

I sat there frozen watching the orcs laugh over the ease and skill of their kill. One of them dug his hand into the man's stomach and produced a thick piece of bloodied intestine. Grotesquely, I watched as they feasted on his flesh.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing and my head reeled. It was out of a horror film. One thing was clear, I needed to get out of here before they saw me and decided I was next. Daniel, oh Gods I hoped he was alright. I tried to move my legs, but they remained immobile.

_Move. Fucking move Brennan, get up! GET UP!_

Picking myself up, I turned and fled. I risked a glance behind me and noticed that the two orcs were too involved in their meal to pay me any mind. Daniel would have gone home. He adored the elderly couple he was staying with and he would have gone to make sure they were safe. Wouldn't he? At least that's where I was hoping he went to. That is, if something else hadn't found him first. I prayed nothing had.

My legs were shaking with fatigue but I pushed them past the screams of those being slaughtered. I tried staying out of sight and stuck to the buildings. I looked around the corner and made a run for the next home and stopped short and changed directions when a man was thrown through a window. An orc laughed and followed at a leisurely pace and grabbed the man by the neck until he was struggling for breath hanging in the air.

Our eyes connected and my face contorted in pain and realization. It was Éored. Our eyes found each other and his hand outstretched towards me. He whimpered and his eyes pleaded me to help in words that would not escape his throat. I shook my head at him tears in my eyes. I was too afraid to leave my spot against the wall.

_Don't look at me, I can't help you. I'm sorry! I'm too afraid. _

I closed my eyes and turned my head away. I willed my body closer to the building praying I wouldn't be noticed by Éored's murderer.

Another strangled cry was followed by a gruesome snap and I winced trying not to imagine what had happened. At a loud thump I opened my eyes; something heavy had landed at my feet. The neck was bruised and at an odd angle. Éored's eyes were glazed in death and I stared at them for a moment longer because I knew those warm hazel eyes. I had spent time with him, laughing and eating as a family. Why was I such a coward? Why couldn't I be a strong female heroine and actually save someone for a change? Maybe I was cursed to have everyone around me die.

I wish I had spent more time with him. He was a good man. _I'm sorry Éored. _

I launched myself from the wall after the orc left and took off in the opposite direction. I meandered from building to building looking for Daniel and trying to escape Éored's eyes glazed in death. My mind kept making excuses for leaving him to die while my heart clenched in remorse.

I would have died.

There was nothing I could have done.

We both would have died.

I was a _coward_.

Out of breath, I nearly cried in relief when I reached the modest home. It was alight with flames, but the home wasn't entirely consumed. I entered cautiously covering my nose and mouth with a wet sleeve. My eyes watered at the smoke and I coughed at the burning sensation in my lungs.

"Daniel?" I called quietly at first. "Are you here? Abigail? Henry?" I tried calling for the couple hoping for…Well for them to be alive. I'm not sure what I expected at this point, or why I was here when it was clear that only an idiot would stay in a burning a building. Or someone possibly injured in need of help.

The home was a mess of strewn furniture and items scattered across the floor. Walking further into the home I slipped and caught myself before I fell. My eyes scanned the floor and saw a small pool of blood. I followed the trail of blood to the table and walked over carefully. I gasped seeing a male shoe and scanned the body slowly until I saw the face. It was distorted but recognizable. I felt terrible, but I was relieved when I saw the empty terror filled eyes of Henry and not Daniel. His skin was cold, but I checked his pulse to make sure. My fingers slipped from cold flesh. He was dead.

My eyes filled with tears, but I refused to even think that Daniel might have been here when Henry was killed. A sudden noise drew me away from him and I crouched low to the ground.

An orc would have attacked the first moment he spotted me. "Daniel? Abigail?" My voice was shaking.

A young cry filled my ears and seeing movement I made my way across the room. The sounds came from behind a bureau. "Hello?"

Small hands wrapped around the splintered wood and a face appeared. "Haleth," I sighed in relief. "Honey are you alright? Where's your Mom?" He was dirty beyond belief and his eyes were scared. "Come on out Haleth, its okay now." Doubtful even a kid would believe that lie, but I had to try.

Haleth was having none of it though. I'm not sure if it was because he didn't believe me or he was just too afraid but he shook his head and refused to move. "Haleth, let's go find your Mom. Come on it's not safe in here."

"Stay with Mommy," he whispered.

"Yes, we'll go find her," I nodded.

He retreated back around the bureau and I sighed following him. I couldn't just leave Haleth, not like I had left Éored. When I crawled to the other side of the bureau I halted feeling my knee soak in something that smelt and looked akin to urine. I stopped abruptly seeing Haleth cuddled against a woman. I sighed in relief instantly recognizing Léofwyn. No wonder Haleth wouldn't leave.

"Léofwyn, thank Gods. Are you alright? We need to get out of here; the building's going to burn." I covered my mouth and coughed trying not to breath in the smoke. "Léofwyn? Are you hurt?" I touched her shoulder and her arm fell to the side. Blood dripped from her fingers to the floor steadily. I brought a shaking hand to my mouth trying to hold back my whimper.

Léofwyn was dead.

The resounding crack of burning and splintering wood startled me. The house was getting warmer and the smoke was becoming thicker. Daniel wasn't here. The house was small and he would have heard me. We needed to leave before the house went up in flames. Swallowing, I avoided looking at Léofwyn and tried drawing Haleth away from his deceased Mother.

"Haleth, come here. We need to leave." He clutched tighter to Léofwyn and shook his head. Licking my dry lips I tried again. "Please Haleth, I'm sorry baby but your Mom's-" I stumbled on the words, "she's gone baby. And we need to go someplace safe."

Diana came up and started licking his face. He reached out to touch her and I nodded. "Yes, come along Haleth. We can go play with Diana, but we have to go outside first."

He withdrew his hand from Diana and curled closer to his Mother. "No!"

I was thoroughly fluxed. Haleth would not leave his Mother's side. I grabbed his arm but he wouldn't budge. "Haleth, come here right now!" I whispered harshly. He started to cry but I managed to wrestle him from his Mother as he kicked and punched. Léofwyn's body toppled sideways and Haleth screamed loudly yelling for her. I covered his mouth with my hand and stood. I stepped around the falling debris and went to the entrance, Haleth struggling the entire time.

He wouldn't quiet and I was afraid of attracting unwanted attention, namely orcs. And I couldn't stop worrying about Daniel. I turned the corner going around the back of the building when a hand clamped down on my shoulder.

I whirled around and delivered a swift sweeping kick nearly dropping Haleth in the process. Not waiting to see the outcome I started running when a voice yelled out "Brennan!"

I turned on my heel and was overcome with relief. "Daniel!" I ran back and hugged him fiercely while Diana enthusiastically licked his face. "Oh my Gods are you alright? I saw Henry and I thought…never mind, is Abigail alright?"

His face was grave and sweaty. He shook his head, "No."

I bit my lip and my eyes watered. "I came looking for you." My fingers twisted in his shirt.

"I was about to go look for you too. We need to get out of here." I nodded. Apparently we were both on the same wavelength. I felt a little less guilty about not going in search of the others knowing he was thinking similarly. He nodded at Haleth. "Where's Léofwyn?"

I shook my head and turned Haleth's head further into my shoulder. Daniel sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He took my hand and we started making our way around the building when Diana started barking. "We should head to the-Brennan move!"

Daniel pushed me violently and I gasped seeing a massive Uruk-hai towering in front of us. There was no mistaking this creature for a mere orc. His body was powerful and sculpted and he carried himself proudly. But even more intimidating was the White Hand of Saruman displayed on his face.

The Uruk-hai sneered at us and sniffed the air delicately and turned his beady eyes on me. "The White Wizard will be pleased. Come here female."

"No fucking way. You stay away from us. Brennan, take Haleth and go!"

"Daniel!"

The Uruk-hai laughed menacingly. "Stupid human, I will rip your limbs from your body and feast on your flesh."

The Uruk-hai rushed us and Daniel intercepted colliding with its stomach. I don't know what he was thinking. There was no way he could take on an Uruk-hai outside of Skyrim. I had more fighting ability than he did!

"Daniel, don't!" I screamed and let Haleth down pushing him away from me. "Go, run!" I pushed him again and he took off running.

"I will enjoy this." The Uruk-hai grabbed Daniel around the neck and easily lifted him off the ground. His feet dangled helplessly. The Uruk-hai sneered relishing in our vulnerability.

With a growl, Diana viciously latched on the monsters leg. The Uruk-hai growled in fury and turned in a large arc that swung her back and forth until she couldn't maintain the bite. Diana flew through the air and hit the ground with a cry.

"Diana!"

She didn't get up. The Uruk-hai chortled and renewed his grasp around Daniel's neck.

"Daniel!" All sense left me and I rushed the Uruk-hai and delivered a blow to the back of his head.

The Uruk-hai threw Daniel to the ground and turned on me angrily. This was it; I was so going to die. "I _would_ take pleasure in killing you female." I threw my body weight into his side and then aimed a kick to his head. He caught my leg in mid-air and knocked me to the ground. "But my Master wishes for you alive." I spit the blood from my mouth and stared as he walked towards me slowly.

Suddenly his eyes shifted and he turned brandishing a crooked sword. In one swift horrible move I saw his blade pierce through Daniel's side.

"DANIEL!"

The Uruk-hai ripped his blade from Daniel's body and he fell on his knees. I watched horrified as he clutched his side and blood sputtered from his mouth. For one moment our eyes met and it felt like time had stopped, as if the entire world stood still. And then it was over and Daniel lay completely still on the ground.

There was so much I wanted to say to him and so much we had to do still. We had to find a way back home, and we were going to find a way together. He couldn't die by the hands of some filthy Uruk-hai!

Blood pulsed through my veins and I clenched my jaw blinking away tears. I grasped the only weapon I could find, a large stone. I threw the rock at his face as hard as I could.

It hit him in the back and he turned to me with amusement.** "Ugly fucker!" **I yelled for all I was worth and picked up another stone to throw. This one struck true and grazed his face. A thin black streak of blood dripped near his eye. He seethed at me and swiftly knocked me across the face. My head snapped abruptly to the right from the harsh fingers came away sticky with blood.

He stepped closer but I was too afraid to move.** "Fucking human female!" **I stared into his yellow eyes knowing he was no longer amused. He said he had wanted me alive, but that meant little.

"**You're more trouble than your worth bitch. Perhaps, I won't bring you back in one piece after all."**

I couldn't understand a thing he said. My Black Speech was limited and I had only said that to piss him off. I shook my head and scooted backwards on my hands fearing what he was about to do. I hoped Haleth had escaped safely. There was no way I was coming out of this alive, not this time. This didn't feel like a random attack, he was targeting me for a reason. But it didn't matter now. As he raised his weapon soaked with my brother's blood I closed my eyes and waited for the blow.

But it never came.

Instead I heard a large clash and I opened my eyes to see the same orc that had attacked me from the stream. Only now I could tell he wasn't an orc, but an Uruk-hai. But this one was different. I'm not sure how exactly, but he was. He carried himself in an almost human manner and he did not bear the White Hand. It was an unbelievable sight, seeing two Uruk-hai clashing swords. What was even more unbelievable was the fact that one had saved me. At least think it did.

Their swords locked together and the Uruk-hai from the stream turned to me and grunted out in unmistakable English, "Run!"

I stared at him stupidly too overwhelmed by the fact that he was speaking English and directing it at me. And he was telling me to run. But I couldn't leave Daniel…

_Your brother's dead._

He grew impatient and yelled once more this time urgently. "RUN!"

This time I listened. I got up and ran as if my life depended on it.

* * *

I stumbled past the house and my only thoughts were getting to Déorhild's back house near the barn. It was dangerous here and I had to escape but I couldn't escape without anything in Middle Earth or I'd be just as good as dead.

_Isabella, Isabella, I heard you crying through the walls  
What's the matter? What's the matter?  
All the neighbors hear it down the hall_

A body collided with me and we tumbled to the ground. I shoved roughly and they fell away crying pitifully.

"Brennan."

"Haleth!" He whimpered as snot dripped from his nose. I clutched him to my chest relieved to see him alive. I couldn't leave him again. He wouldn't survive on his own and I wasn't sure if I could survive on my own either. I didn't want to be alone. Grasping his hand I dragged him behind me in a manic state.

"Come on we have to go. We'll leave, it'll be fine. You'll see." I didn't know who I was trying to comfort, him or me.

_And I didn't want to be the first to say  
Everyone around here thinks you're crazy  
And I didn't want to be the first to say you shouldn't stay,  
Isabella run away_

My feet were beginning to ache. I made a mental note to throw my sneakers in my pack along with food. I was determined not to die before reaching Edoras. Hopefully, they'd take kindly to strangers, for Haleth's sake. But first we had to reach Déorhild's and secure a horse, if there were any that hadn't escaped. Haleth stumbled and fell twice before I swept him into my fatiguing arms. He was young and couldn't keep up with me. It made running more difficult for me but it saved time. He was strangely complacent in my arms and I feared he was in shock. No doubt he was scarred for life. I thought I might be as well.

It wasn't a straight run to the barn but we managed to get there in one piece. We barely managed to avoid the orcs running about, but it seemed that most of the people in the village were dead or worse. The foul creatures were enjoying their gains and some of them were pillaging the homes with intensity. It was almost like they were looking for something. I shuddered thinking of the words the Uruk-hai said to me before killing Daniel. My poor Daniel…

Why couldn't' I have saved him? If I was stronger maybe I could have done something. Instead, Daniel, a normal teenage boy had put his life on the line to protect me. He had saved me. He was my little brother, and I was supposed to protect him, not the other way around.

_All your heroes are your records,  
You play 'em loud but I don't mind the noise.  
Why ya hiding? Why you staying?  
Maybe you don't think you have a choice._

We reached Déorhild's home and I was relieved to see that it was not consumed by flames like so many of the others in the village. I rushed into the house going straight for the kitchen. I tried to ignore the feelings and memories associated with this kitchen and the people here. They were dead, most likely all of them. Even sweet Heruwyn was most likely dead.

I set Haleth down momentarily to find an old sack that was used for flour and started filling it with anything of value both in food and appliances. Once that was full I started on another. It wouldn't be heavy, and I could carry most of it if we couldn't procure a horse.

"Haleth, hand me the apples on the table." A few moments passed and I sighed in irritation and grabbed the apples myself. Haleth was facing an open door holding an apple in one hand. I went over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder and realized that he was standing in front of Déorhild's old room.

At the noises I sucked in a breath and looked into the room. I had never seen Gléowyn so unkempt before. She was perched on the bloodied bed besides Déorhild's body. If not for all the blood and other bodily fluids, I would think she was sleeping. Gléowyn had laid Déorhild's hands across her chest, but I was surprised seeing Heruwyn similarly.

"Gléowyn?" I called quietly stepping into the room.

She was rocking slightly and muttering under her breath. I wasn't sure if she heard me so I called again.

"Shh," she said her eyes darting in my direction. She ran her hand through Heruwyn's hair lovingly and pressed a finger to her lips. "They're sleeping. They are very tired, we must let them rest. Yes, we must give them plenty of time to rest."

I walked further into the room with a sense of dread. Heruwyn's neck was covered in bruises. Only the bruises resembled hand prints, human ones. Delicately I felt her pulse and then turned to Gléowyn in utter disbelief.

"Gléowyn, what did you do?" I whispered terrified.

"This way no one will hurt her." She muttered her eyes wild.

_And I didn't want to tell you face to face_  
_That your mom and dad are straight up crazy  
It's really hard for me to say that you shouldn't stay,  
Isabella run away_

Surely she wasn't capable of this. There was no way she could have hurt her own child. I refused to believe it. "Gléowyn, where's the baby?"

"Baby? Baby, what baby?" Her fingers pressed against her lips.

"Déorhild's baby, your niece."

"Yes, yes she's here too. Here I'll show you, she's sleeping. She was fussing, but now she's quiet." Gléowyn lifted a small bundle into her arms and I held back my gasp. The baby's sheets were no longer their original white.

_Don't you be afraid  
It's never too late  
You're a sleeping tiger, come awake  
Isabella run away._

Slowly I began to back out of the room. Gléowyn continued to speak softly rocking the child in a mockery of an embrace.

I took Haleth's hand and the two parcels and walked away as quietly as possible before turning my back on Gléowyn's madness.

_Out the window of your bedroom, climb on down the fire escape.  
I left some money and a ticket.  
For the first time in your life don't be afraid_

We ran around the back of the building to the one I stayed in and where the horses were also kept. I had never ridden them before as they were labor horses and Baldred had made it clear from the beginning that he didn't want them spoiled.

A crash came from behind us followed by Gléowyn's maddening scream. I didn't even consider going back to help her. Instead I increased our pace to a slow jog and pushed the screams to the back of my mind. We reached the back house with little incident. Haleth watched quietly as I repacked. I was a flurry of movement and focused on survival. I would get us out of here alive no matter what.

_And baby I will be the first to say  
You are stronger than you know, you'll find your way.  
Isabella run away._

Leaving was the only rational thing to do. There was only death. Keeping my mind free of all thoughts except the task at hand was the only way I could stay functional. Therefore, I didn't think of anyone while I packed my bag and threw in what little food I had scavenged. I didn't think of how young Haleth was and how terrible it was for him when I yelled at him to hurry up and move faster. I tried not to think of Daniel, or the elderly couple. And I especially avoided all thoughts having to do with Gléowyn's madness and the praising eyes of her daughter as she looked to me for guidance.

_Don't you be afraid  
It's never too late  
You're a sleeping tiger, come awake  
Isabella run away._

There were two horses and I picked the strongest and most reliable, a grey Shire labor horse named Harold. I strapped his working harness on his back and made quick work of securing our supplies. I tried to work fast and efficiently while staying as quiet as possible. I set Haleth on Harold and pulled myself to sit behind him. I held fast to Haleth and hoped our materials and two riders wouldn't be too much for the beast. There was no way we wouldn't be heard galloping away, so in a last ditch effort I released the other horse and sent him in the opposite direction. Both horses burst forth into the open terrain and I urged Harold into a run wrapping my arms securely around Haleth and telling him to hold on tightly. I urged Harold along holding fast to the reigns and Haleth praying neither we nor our meager supplies would dislodge. I dared not look behind. I didn't want to know if we were being followed.

I couldn't give up; we had to get as far away as soon as possible and keep going until we found shelter or reached Edoras. Daniel and I had plotted this route for the last week so I knew the general direction I needed to go. Hopefully we wouldn't get lost and die out in the middle of nowhere.

_Isabella, Isabella  
Isabella, Isabella_

_Don't you be afraid  
It's never too late  
You're a sleeping tiger, come awake  
Isabella run away._

The wind was harsh against my face and my tears were lost behind me. The only sounds were the beating of hooves and our shuddering breathes. I promise Daniel, I'll keep going, I'll find a way a home and I won't give up on living. I'll be stronger for you.

* * *

"Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them."

~ George Eliot

"Isabella"

~ Dia Frampton

AN: Please READ and REVIEW! Thank you for your support. Still in need of a Beta. Like the music? I thought this song went well with the insanity of the situation, but you decide. It's not sad but it's just out-of-place, much like Brennan. I didn't want something sad and mopey but something that added to the madness. How was the fighting scene? How do you feel about switching from Brennan's first person POV to third person POV off and on? Brennan too Mary Sue for you? Let me know what you think!

Next Chapter: In which Brennan grieves, arrives in Edoras, and meets a noble shield maiden.


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